(T) Shadows of the Moonlight - Excerpt and Synopsis

[Kina]

[quote="xLilacVixenx"]One word; amazing. The synopsis had me already hooked and as I read further on, the detail and delicacy of the story captured me. To begin with, I admire how you describe at every angle possible so you are assured your reader has the picture in their mind, without over-doing the detail to such an extent it's ridiculous. As I said before, you have a delicacy in your description and detail; a certain feeling that can overpower you and change your feelings throughout the story as if you were the character.

The description to how the way the world works and moves is stunning as well. Take this sentence for instance:

[quote="Kina"]Long grasses wave underneath the moon and sun as the winds of change trickle through prides, laying path for new paws to walk upon.[/quote]
You seem to have an understanding for Lion King history, don't you? The image in this sentence is quite clear in my mind; I can imagine a long path with golden rays shinging down upon it with little grains of dust sprinkling through the sunlight, but only in the sun. (And I have no idea why, but I feel I should speak to you about detail in this comment, lol)

Another thing is you have a certain logical and sophisticated writing style that can make your stories sound like it came out of the script from National Geographic. Blood is also one of my favorite things in stories. I have no idea why, but it upsets me when there is no detail put into for blood; take for instance Call of the Wild. It mentions how the thrill of 'taking the prey into my jaws with the warm, red liquid pouring down my mouth' is amazing. You really captured that feel and I appreciate that.

In conclusion, your story was fabulous and I would definitely rate it a 10/10 stars. *Claps paws* ^_^[/quote]

*_*

Whoa. I loved your review, even if this is just a sample for the actual story. Hehe, well, I had several people critique me when I first started writing. "Paint the scene to the reader feels it, as if they're there." That is definitely one of the most solid pieces of advice I'd ever received in this art. I'm glad to see my attempts succeeded, though. ^_^

Well, for the most part, I'd like to think so. I'm rather new to writing for this fandom, but I love the concepts it involves.

*Smiles.* National Geographic, huh? That's a pretty good compliment. Thanks, Lady. *Huggles.* But, I feel the same way. Its nature - Its not clean and pretty. Bloody events happen, and distracting from them doesn't distract from the truth. It is what it is. But, because of that, I figured I'd better up the rating. (And I just finished reading the original version of "White Fang" again fairly recently, which probably also helps. The raw brutality of it also holds a certain beauty, as any animal lover would see.)

Hehe, well, hopefully you'll enjoy the actual story as much as this excerpt. ^_^

[xLilacVixenx]

[quote="Kina"]
*_*

Whoa. I loved your review, even if this is just a sample for the actual story. Hehe, well, I had several people critique me when I first started writing. "Paint the scene to the reader feels it, as if they're there." That is definitely one of the most solid pieces of advice I'd ever received in this art. I'm glad to see my attempts succeeded, though. ^_^

Well, for the most part, I'd like to think so. I'm rather new to writing for this fandom, but I love the concepts it involves.

*Smiles.* National Geographic, huh? That's a pretty good compliment. Thanks, Lady. *Huggles.* But, I feel the same way. Its nature - Its not clean and pretty. Bloody events happen, and distracting from them doesn't distract from the truth. It is what it is. But, because of that, I figured I'd better up the rating. (And I just finished reading the original version of "White Fang" again fairly recently, which probably also helps. The raw brutality of it also holds a certain beauty, as any animal lover would see.)

Hehe, well, hopefully you'll enjoy the actual story as much as this excerpt. ^_^[/quote]


*Giggles* I'm a visionary type of girl, I can imagine things quite clearly in my head in lots of ways; it's just the way I am. :P You're actually new to the writing business? You sound like you're pro girl. Pro.

Aw, I wish I could read White Fang; I just haven't found any unabridged versions of it in the library, but I was thinking of buying it. Abridged books really annoy me; you think you read the whole book but then you look at the back cover that says 'abridged' and it goes down-the-drain.

I have to agree with you on nature, it isn't pretty, but it's life. Some things like water or sun are beautiful gifts of nature, but others like killing for survival are quite gruesome. You really did capture that life-and-death balance in there, anybody could die in a story. o.o

[Kina]

[quote="xLilacVixenx"][quote="Kina"]
*_*

Whoa. I loved your review, even if this is just a sample for the actual story. Hehe, well, I had several people critique me when I first started writing. "Paint the scene to the reader feels it, as if they're there." That is definitely one of the most solid pieces of advice I'd ever received in this art. I'm glad to see my attempts succeeded, though. ^_^

Well, for the most part, I'd like to think so. I'm rather new to writing for this fandom, but I love the concepts it involves.

*Smiles.* National Geographic, huh? That's a pretty good compliment. Thanks, Lady. *Huggles.* But, I feel the same way. Its nature - Its not clean and pretty. Bloody events happen, and distracting from them doesn't distract from the truth. It is what it is. But, because of that, I figured I'd better up the rating. (And I just finished reading the original version of "White Fang" again fairly recently, which probably also helps. The raw brutality of it also holds a certain beauty, as any animal lover would see.)

Hehe, well, hopefully you'll enjoy the actual story as much as this excerpt. ^_^[/quote]


*Giggles* I'm a visionary type of girl, I can imagine things quite clearly in my head in lots of ways; it's just the way I am. You're actually new to the writing business? You sound like you're pro girl. Pro.

Aw, I wish I could read White Fang; I just haven't found any unabridged versions of it in the library, but I was thinking of buying it. Abridged books really annoy me; you think you read the whole book but then you look at the back cover that says 'abridged' and it goes down-the-drain.

I have to agree with you on nature, it isn't pretty, but it's life. Some things like water or sun are beautiful gifts of nature, but others like killing for survival are quite gruesome. You really did capture that life-and-death balance in there, anybody could die in a story. o.o[/quote]


Hehe, well, I've only been writing seriously for three years now. But I'm proud to say I've improved in leaps and bounds during that time, too. But, that's the same way for me - I've always loved description, and making the fictional world seem real is fascinating.

You really can't find it anywhere? Aww ... That really sucks. We read the abridged/violence-muted version for school (It was all my Mom could find at the time, since we're homeschooled), but then we recently found the original version at Barnes & Noble. Maybe you could find it there.

*Nods.* Precisely. Hehe, glad to know I succeeded in that. Seeing as I've never written anything for his fandom before that excerpt, that's quite an accomplishment.