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# Lioness War of Attrition, Painkiller~ 
April 29th, 2016, 5:25 am
Lioness Music: Three Days Grace: PainKiller :bugs:
Lioness Health: Poor :despise:
Lioness Throwing Up: 10 Times today :despise: :pissed:
Lioness Mood: Fair/Reflective/Dysmorphic :bugs:
Lioness Weather: Rainy/Damp/Cold'ish 37F :ugh2:
Lioness Time: 22:37:54 :nalasmile:
Lioness Nausea Magnitude: 5/6 :yikes:
Lioness Art Trades/Requests:(Slow Progression) :puppyeyes:

Well despite everything, T-Minus 81 Days till Jerusalem Israel, our home Now Ours :D :D :nalasmile: !!
http://www.century21global.com/property/jerusalem-israel-C21103945534
Go to this link to see it, its quite Pretty!
Were well on track, getting everything ready as is, this's the hardest part, not buying our home which was remarkably easy, or later flying there.... its those Little things, you know the List of Chores, finding someone to have our old home here, then packing Company/Shipping company, which of Course will be naturally..( El Al Israel Air Freight Shipping) and Also El Al Israel Airlines to fly over on.. :zuricool: :fuliohyeah: :kiaraohyeah:
Organizing everything inbetween Looking at my Art Trades/Requests, which I'm clawing at between my illnesses kicking me around like the Lioness little fluff ball I am.. :bugs: :ohno:

My sleep is getting more and more Restless :bugs: , anxious :growljasiri: and constantly thinking of what its gonna be like over in Jerusalem Israel, which actually pleases me greatly!! :kiaraohyeah: :kiaraohyeah: :zuricool: :fuliohyeah: :fuliohyeah: :kiaraohyeah: !!..
But otherwise I'm coming on here at MLK/FAA I still try to have time for All! I'm SO Happy toi have met (Roni) Linnea, my new Israeli Lioness Sis, whom I just Adore, as I do ALL My family here at MLK/FAA!! <- :-D :zuricool: :kiaraohyeah: :fuliohyeah: :nalasmile: :nalasmile: :kionsmile: :tiifu: :tiifu2: :shiney: :highfive: :highfive: :highfive: :kiarabutterfly: :kiarabutterfly: :zira-approve: :zira-aww: :zira-happy: :sleepyzira: :glee2: :zirainnocent: :realize: :realize: :highfive: :kiarabutterfly: :kiarabutterfly: :highfive:

So otherwise I'm Expressive in my Art Test pics, as I'm trying new ideas, old ideas, new concepts, and old concepts, between everything. So otherwise all said I'm doing the best I can, daddy lion is his Liony self :cool: :coolgrin: Were getting on good kinda in our rocky yet Amiable Daughter Lioness daddy lion relationship, yes my step mom Lynn call's daily begging to chat every chance she gets with me :fret: which practically makes so ill I can :puke2: Puke up just hearing her voice, Leaving Me SO ANGRY :bigteethnala: :bigteethnala: :bigteethnala: :pissed: I cannot begin to measure it :grrzira: :horrifiedoutsiders2: :horrifiedoutsiders: , not kidding! For those who dont know Lynn, trust me you just DONT want to.. :disgust: :disgust: : :grrzira: She's that twisted.. I've seen the Face of True Evil!!.... :horrifiedoutsiders: :insane: :evil3: :grr5:
I'm just happy Lynn's 1,400 miles south in Texas.. Her presence in the USA inspires me even more to Want to Seriously Leave fore Yerushalayim (Jerusalem), Yisrael (Israel) PDFQ_ASAP!!

Been too thinking of my IRL birth mom lion who abandoned me 10 years ago...too, I miss her, beyond measure.. I Hope I get an IRL mom in Yisrael who actually Loves me, I think I deserve that... :huh2: :huh: , I cannot go on much longer without a mom, it hurts so much to not have one.... :sosorry: :sosorry: :cry: :cry:

Well then I need to go, bout time for my nightly Coffee/Snack..at the usual 23:30:00 PM CST
I LOVE you All, I Really Do, Never Felt So Much Love for Many at one TLK/MLK/FAA place! :kiarabutterfly: :highfive: :highfive:

Good Night Everyone~ **huggs Roni(linnea) and Everyone!** :grouphug:



(Three Days Grace Lyrics to (Painkiller) (Modified in this Lioness Quote)

Lioness Quote: :worriednala:
You know I need a fix when I fall down, Cause I cannot even stand up..You are my Paws, my Crutch.. My hook to drag me along..
You know I need to find a way, but Enslaved with you I stay, forever bonded to you flesh of fur of flesh of fur.. An UnHoly Communion I took of you, you took of me, we two- bound in bondage of agreeance, in flesh and fur and flesh and fur..
I need you To get me through another day, another way to make me stay and pay..
Let you be the one to numb me out, cause I dont want to feel you anymore
Let you be the one to hold me, cause I'm so love starved I'm insane for affection
Never gonna let me get away, cause at you're call I-
come running back, forever, over and over and over
This Vicious cycle were Locked and engaged in

You're The shoulder I cry on, the one I know who'll feed me, the one who'll bleed me..
You're The dose that I die on, I'm addicted to you beyond reason, I'm Fanatical..

You, can be my painkiller, killer, killer
I'll love you till it's all over, over
'Cause You're the shoulder I cry on
The dose that I die on
You, You can be my painkiller, killer, killer, Painkiller

You know what I want so desperately, you've promised me for years,
I never saw a thing Always Empty Alone, Desolate I'm left..
But I'll always hope, beyond reason, beyond madness, beyond this world
For you're Promises, I'll always believe cause I'm desperate, Insane beyond reason, beyond pain
you inflict upon me, to have what I want, I'm fanatical... ..
You know I'll Always give you one for free,
Forever Indebted to you I am

Forever I'm coming back to you, I'm addicted to you're Promises, Lies and False Reasoning
Now You're gonna give me what I need, -
Just you watch me Lioness bleed I'll feed you're twisted need,
Cause I'm You'res and You're mine, you hurt me so badly, -
I'm bleeding now as you love to watch , but thats just fine, I still love you no matter what
I love you no matter what, what you do to me, what you say to me..
'Cause you know what I fiend on and what I lean on
And what I lean on, leaning on you, I'm Enslaved to you till death
do we part...

Did I find another cure? No, cause theres non so addictive as you...I'm you're Lioness slave, oh master o'mine~
Did I find another cure? No, cause theres non so addictive as you...I'm youre Lioness slave, oh master o'mine...

User Comments

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  nalasimba2223467 May 3rd, 2016, 11:00 pm
I hope Jerusalem will be much better for you than wherever Lynn is ;) You deserve a good mother who will be there for you and who will now how to take care of and love you. If you need anything, we're here for you, Sis. <3 Don't lose hope!
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  Leviara_Lioness May 4th, 2016, 3:38 am
Thanks Sis Nala **huggs cuddles purrss murrss** I Love Chuu Too Sis **huggs** :hug3: :nalasmile: I'm So Lucky to Have All of you here!! Yes I'm looking forward to getting there in Jerusalem, as we got the house already, so now in about 77 days :D were in Jerusalem Israel, as for Lynn my step mom**cough :disgust2: **, she's 1400 miles south of me in Denton Texas but call's daily on the phone to our home here :peeky: **shivvvers :disgust2: :ugh2: :despise: ** , I'm here in Sioux Falls South Dakota, which to me isnt far enough away for things she "did" to me..

You know the only thing about this huge home we now have waiting to be moved into there in Jerusalem, is that theres no pool, but the Property as you saw is 11,302 Square feet, so daddy lion says he'll put one in, make it an (enclosed Indoor Spa kinda pool/Sun room)
Dont worry I wont loose hope, I have You Sis Nala and Everyone here to help keep me going! **huggs tight** :hug3: I really appreciate that Sis :D :nalasmile:
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  nalasimba2223467 May 15th, 2016, 6:06 pm
You're welcome :hug3: hope your new house is awesome! I bet the new pool will be sweet! :D
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  Leviara_Lioness May 16th, 2016, 5:02 am
Yes it is!:D I bet it will too! Thanks Sis! :hug3:
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  Leviara_Lioness May 1st, 2016, 12:16 pm
Well I'm glad you're ok after all that! Yes I do, and dont worry bro, its fine on the Hebrew thing!
:nalasmile:
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  FeatheredSeclude April 30th, 2016, 9:02 am
Nice edit of Painkiller. Though not really a huge of New Three Days Grace, it's more like more My Darkest Days, which is a band I like few little of their stuff.
I personally though can't agree on being enslaved into something, especially religious stuff to me. *My opinion, not meant to offend another*
Likely one of the song so far stuck into my head is Run to You by Lacey Strum.

To me, following God, and Christ, can't be an enslaved thing, it has to be something you want to do. It's isn't something to me that can be forced on you. People should follow God and Christ by their own choice, not what another wants of you, or trying to fit in with a crowd. Even with all the people that follow God and Christ, there are very few that follow Him and God for the sake of want, but more of to fit in with a crowd.
I honestly typically don't even like the term slave at all.
You follow what you want, your choice, your life, your call, your path.
God has a path for everyone, but whether you want to follow His path, is up to you.

I don't feeling anything should ever be forced onto another, I support respectfully showing what it is, but don't force them to see it or watch it.
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  Leviara_Lioness April 30th, 2016, 12:20 pm
I see you're point completely, the Edit of (Pain Killer) this quote is about my Lioness body and how like a Master I attached to it, as it makes me suffer with illnesses, which I despise :despise: so it's about the bad relationship of my body and I that were in together, like two partners, were in it for life.
Dont worry Times Bro, I do have my Salvation of Yahweh God Mashiach Yeshua, I know, i wouldn't make it with out it, so but some times Bro Time's and you know this all too well too being mortal, you get tired of the hurting, and I vent it off in my Journals! like you have you're ways of venting too, which as we both know God always gives us a door of escape, we are never trapped, He is Refuge and Comfort under his Wings we are hidden in His Love for us! Its like i tell God when when i pray, I thank him for Loving me, Despite what I was to him. So yeah I vented in my FAA Journal.
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  FeatheredSeclude April 30th, 2016, 1:16 pm
The power of your own tongue does wonders. Speak up about your body, and believe in what what you are saying, and you will be healed. (something I myself could work on some with my shoulder being so screwed and what ever other injuries)

I can see going through a pain level as in a "test" you could say, more likely an attack from Satan, but God giving you the strength to pull through.
Also, what's the Hebrew term for Satan, my mom says I said it a couple days back, I thought I made up some gibberish word. Though I did direct at Satan, claustrophobia/dementia issues. I think I said Lavizad or something that area?

Yeah, I tend to vent through pictures though, and interesting info, apparently I can sing pretty dang good. I can sing and match pitch to 95% of Danny Gokey's stuff. Tell Your Heart to Beat Again being may favourite to sing, then This is What it Means, and Get Away.
My mom said my Jewishness was showing and I sang like a Rabbi. She's EXTREMELY blunt, so when she says something like that, she means it. So I'm actually far more comfortable now to sing around my family members, XD Wish I had a proper microphone, I'd try to record myself sing, though I think my laptop has a pretty decent one? Will have to experiment around with it.
Though intersting thing about that, was I noticed my voice got a lot better after I listened to the song Run to You by Lacey Strum. That song put a realization in me about Christ's love. He loves us so much is will let us continually go against him, do bad things, simply because He wants to have what we think is best for us. He wants us to choose our road. Ultimately have our road follow Him. From what I can make out of it, Jesus wants us to want to follow Him, we have to want to let Him have the reigns of our lives. Though at any point, we can take the reigns back, and follow another road.
That realization has really changed how I think of Christ's love.
Christ talking to all of us:
In the words of the song,

You tell me I'm the one holding you back
And something about how far we're off track
Well all I hear is your heart beat loud and strong
And I just want to wrap you in my arms

But I'll let you go, if that's what you want
But I hope you know my love won't stop
You say it's not true and you call me a fool
But call out my name, I'll run to you

I know you, I know your eyes so well
And I know you're not sure of yourself
But something made you restless years ago
'Til you forgot that I'm part of your soul

But I'll let you go, if that's what you want
But I hope you know my love won't stop
You say it's not true and you call me a fool
But call out my name, I'll run to you

I've always believed in you
You used to believe in me too
Remember the day that you turned away
It killed me to lose you
It killed me to lose you

But I'll let you go, if that's what you want
But I hope you know my love won't stop
You say it's not true and you call me a fool
But call out my name, I'll run to you

I'll run to you, I'll run to you
I've always believed in you
Run to you, I'll run to you
And 'cause I love you
I'll let you go
If that's what you want
But I hope you know
My love won't stop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgddYZAjzbU

The song made me fully get that everything of our lives, what we sit silent about, what we honour, what we reject, what we like, dislike, stand up for, speak of or for, and ultimately what we follow.
The song hit me so deep.
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  Leviara_Lioness May 1st, 2016, 2:46 am
Very nicely put Bro Times, never let it be said Bro that you dont make you're thoughts complete, cause you do make them complete and shown, I appreciate you're thought and comfort, I needed this. I agree, yes.
I'll check out the song, too! :nalasmile: Otherwise its been a fair day, lotsa rain since about 08:30 AM CDT, better than snow though.
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  FeatheredSeclude May 1st, 2016, 3:24 am
:glee:
-Got nothing to hide.
Not sure what to say there, so I'll leave it at that. ;)

Still wondering if what I said exactly in Hebrew, my said was Satan, was what I said, was directed at him, like said above, XD so not bad at all. Just curious what it was exactly. Lavizad I reckon? You seem to know more of the language than I do, why I'm asking.

Please do~ it's excellent. I think that song and If This is the End by Greek Fire are the only two songs in my life that have made me cry in realization to things.

And likewise on the rain, I think it finally stopped like an hour or so ago. Four days of consecutive "Severe Tornado Warning", "Severe Flash Flood Warning", "Extremely Severe Thunderstorm Warning" does get old, especially when you are forced out into it. You get wet.
We also had a jolt of lightning hit by our house, things went flying. Was like the house got hit with a shock wave. I was in the kitchen, and everything, and I mean everything jumped out of the cabinet, I was nearly knocked off my feet from it. Jesus Christ followed in tongue, not as in cursing in vain, but like that was close, thank you. Typically how I mean when I say it.
Was something you really had to be there to see. Words really can't describe it. Dishes flying out of our cabinets is a start. Seeing the table in front you jump sideways 3 feet, is about the best I can describe of it. And a bang and rumble that continued on for 20 minutes.
Was quite cool I'll admit, but like an hour before that, we had like 3+ ambulances, a dozen or more fire trucks, and countless cop cars fly by our property, heading towards Jefferson, a near us, like 20 minutes from us. Think they got hit really badly. This morning I had to help clean up our yard, a lot of down tree stuff.
Still we have had worse clean up. Had to more a 200 year tree before that was in our drive-way.
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  Leviara_Lioness May 1st, 2016, 12:17 pm
Well I'm glad you're ok after all that! Yes I do, and dont worry bro, its fine on the Hebrew thing!
 

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