"The Pride That Never Was"

[Akril]

As many of you know, a lot of things changed during the development of Simba's Pride. Kiara used to be called Shani, Simba used to have a son named Chaka, Vitani used to be called Shetani, Kovu actually was Scar's son at one point, and the Outsiders used to live in a huge cave filled with crystals instead of a termite mound.

I've drawn a few pictures of the cut characters from the early drafts of SP (mostly Chaka and his future mate, Timira/Kirajah), but then someone on TLKFAA suggested that I actually write a story based on the early versions of the plot. Though I was hesitant to do this at first, I decided to give it a go. Though I don't think the resulting story is my best work, I still think it turned out pretty good. It follows the plotline of SP very closely (even including some lines nicked straight from the film), but though I included almost all of the discarded characters and plot elements, I also tried to improve a few spots in the storyline that I thought were a bit weak.

I'll be posting the story here starting February 1st, and will try to post a chapter a day, so stay tuned.

[Akril]

The Pride That Never Was
A story based on the early versions of The Lion King II: Simba's Pride

Prologue:


The tiny, golden lion cub lay cradled in the elderly mandrill's arms and blinked sleepily at the two adoring faces that gazed down at it. The faces belonged to the cub's parents. The red-maned male was Simba, the long-lost son of Mufasa who had only recently returned to his homeland to take his rightful place as the king of the Pride Lands. The cream-colored, green-eyed female was Nala, who was once Simba's cubhood friend and was now his queen.

The mandrill that held the cub was Rafiki, the aged shaman who had just completed a ritual that had been in existence for as long as the pride had existed: when the son of the king was born, he was to be held aloft at the peak of Pride Rock -- the massive rock formation where all the members of the pride resided -- for all the animals of the Pride Lands to see.

As for the cub himself, he was Chaka, Simba and Nala's firstborn cub and the future king of the Pride Lands. However, Chaka was not the royal couple's only cub. In the large cave inside Pride Rock, curled up in the paws of Nala's mother, Sarafina, was their daughter, Shani. Since she was the king's daughter, she would need to be educated in the ways of maintaining a kingdom just as much as Chaka, even though she would never be burdened with as many responsibilities as the future king.

Preparing a young cub for such a prestigious position was undoubtedly a difficult task, and Simba hoped that he would be able to perform it with at least some success. Since his own education in that area was almost nonexistent, he wondered whether what little he knew would be enough raise a worthy heir to the throne. However, it wasn't just the prospect of teaching Chaka and Shani that worried him. There was something else that bothered him as well, something that he feared might somehow jeopardize the futures of both his family and his homeland...

[Mike]

Good start =) I definitely like the concept, rewriting TLKII as a "What if?" scenario is always a solid choice for a fanfic topic, and your starting point is good ^.^

The prologue is mostly introducing characters, as is to be expected I guess with you assuming that the reader doesn't know them. Unfortunately it doesn't give a deep understanding of your skill and style as a writer, so I'll be looking forward to the next parts to see how they turn out =D

[Akril]

[quote="Mike"]Good start =) I definitely like the concept, rewriting TLKII as a "What if?" scenario is always a solid choice for a fanfic topic, and your starting point is good ^.^

The prologue is mostly introducing characters, as is to be expected I guess with you assuming that the reader doesn't know them. Unfortunately it doesn't give a deep understanding of your skill and style as a writer, so I'll be looking forward to the next parts to see how they turn out =D[/quote]
Thank you! very much.

Yep, the prologue is mostly setting the stage. Since many characters have different names and there are several new characters as well, I wanted to introduce the reader to two of the biggest differences to SP (two cubs instead of one and "Shani" instead of "Kiara") right off the bat. Unlike SP, I also wanted this story to take place right after TLK ended, so it's pretty much taking place right after all the excitement has died down. : )

[KiarasMate]

Yup, pretty much agree with Mike wholeheartedly on this one. ^^ While it's still a tad bit early to make any assumptions, I think your writing style is quite enjoyable if I do say so myself Akril and I hope the rest of your story will be as detailed and well presented as your prologue was. Keep up the fantastic work my friend and I'll be keeping an eye on this thread for new chapters. ^^

[YFWE]

Solid start, Akril! I can tell already that you're pretty experienced as a writer and definitely know how to do it well, which can only mean great things for this fanfic. The storyline itself is intriguing and actually really gets me thinking, which is always a very welcome addition to any story. I think this will a fantastic fanfic. ^^

[Akril]

[quote="KiarasMate"]Yup, pretty much agree with Mike wholeheartedly on this one. ^^ While it's still a tad bit early to make any assumptions, I think your writing style is quite enjoyable if I do say so myself Akril and I hope the rest of your story will be as detailed and well presented as your prologue was. Keep up the fantastic work my friend and I'll be keeping an eye on this thread for new chapters. ^^[/quote]
Thank you! I'll be sure to keep the new chapters a-coming.

[quote="YFWE"]Solid start, Akril! I can tell already that you're pretty experienced as a writer and definitely know how to do it well, which can only mean great things for this fanfic. The storyline itself is intriguing and actually really gets me thinking, which is always a very welcome addition to any story. I think this will a fantastic fanfic. ^^[/quote]
Thanks a lot!

Yes, I've written a lot of stories, and several pieces of TLK fan fiction. This is the first TLK fanfic I've posted chapter by chapter, though. I'm glad you enjoyed the first little piece of it so much. I think that's a good sign.

[Akril]

Chapter One:


The bright mid-morning sun sent glowing shafts of light through the many clouds that dappled the azure sky. The grasses of the savannah were a rich, verdant green, and the many trees that dotted it were crowned with thick bunches of leaves.

Several months had passed since Chaka's presentation at Pride Rock. He and Shani had grown into healthy, playful cubs that seemed to constantly be in motion from sunrise to sunset. As Simba and Nala slowly padded through the tall grass, their cubs trotted briskly alongside them, occasionally stopping to chase a nearby butterfly or locust.

Chaka and Shani weren't the only cubs walking with Simba and Nala, however. A third cub named Timira was with them. She was a few days younger than Simba and Nala's cubs, and she had quickly become their favorite playmate. Even though the outing Simba and Nala were currently on was one meant for Chaka and Shani, Simba had granted little Timira permission to accompany them, as long as she behaved herself.

"All right, this looks like a good place to stop," Simba announced, coming to a halt on a small hill shaded by a large acacia tree. He settled into a sitting position as Chaka, Shani and Timira came padding up to him. Nala searched for a comfortable spot a short distance away from them, where she dropped onto her haunches, then slowly flopped onto her side.

"What're you gonna tell us today, Dad?" Chaka asked with genuine curiosity.

Simba smiled at him. Chaka looked very much like Simba did when he was a cub, only Chaka's eyes weren't red, but pale green, like his mother's and his maternal grandmother's.

"Chaka," said Simba gently, "When you are king, you must remember that while there are times when it is important to be gentle, there are also times when you must be forceful. You've got to know when to show mercy and when to be harsh."

"You mean..." Chaka said, glancing down at his paws for a moment, "Sometimes I'll have to fight other animals?"

Simba paused, carefully considering his response.

"Yes," he said firmly, "I won't lie to you, Chaka. Being a king can be dangerous, and there are times when you will have to fight, but you shouldn't be afraid. The better a king you are, the better you'll be at winning fights. And remember that you won't be alone, either. You'll have the entire pride at your side to help you."

"And me too, right, Dad?" Shani interjected.

Simba chuckled.

"Yes," he said. "You too."

Simba suddenly glimpsed a movement out of the corner of his eye. Zazu, the small, vividly colored hornbill that served as Simba's majordomo, alighted on the king's shoulder. Simba turned to face him.

"A little late for the morning report, aren't you?" Simba smirked.

"My apologies, Sire," the bird said, ruffling his feathers agitatedly. "Those infernal monkeys in that grove by the river would simply not stop informing me about every piffling thing that was bothering them -- and frankly, I think they were making up most of their grievances just to provoke me. And as for that pack of jackals to the north, they were -- "

"Could you wait until we're through with this lesson first, Zazu?" Simba asked.

Zazu sighed exasperatedly.

"Very well, Sire," he muttered.

Simba turned back to the three cubs.

"Now where were we?" he asked.

"You were talking about how Chaka would have to fight things when he's the king," Timira said eagerly.

Timira was darker than Chaka and Shani -- in fact, she was darker than nearly every other lion in the pride, save for her mother, Masika. Her fur was a warm, smoky grey color, but her eyes were a vivid, fiery amber, and at times her personality seemed equally fiery.

"Ah, right," Simba said. "But Chaka won't always have to fight other animals. There will be many times when he can solve a problem without having to lay a paw on his enemy. For example, those monkeys Zazu was just talking about: Do you think you'll have to start fighting those monkeys to make them stop squabbling, Chaka?"

Chaka shook his head.

"That's right. What do you think is the best way to stop them from squabbling?"

Chaka glanced skyward, deep in thought.

"Um...I'd talk to them," he finally said.

"That's a good start," said Simba. "But what if they didn't listen to you and kept on chattering?"

"Uh, I'd...I'd shout at them," Chaka said, more confidently this time.

"Good, but what if even that didn't work? What would you do then?"

Chaka paused again. When he didn't say anything for a few moments, Timira leaned slightly in his direction and started whispering something out the side of her mouth. Since Shani was standing between them, Simba doubted that Chaka could hear her, and though he himself couldn't hear what she was saying at first, he soon heard, very faintly, the words, "Roar! Roar!"

"Timira!" Simba said sternly. Timira stopped whispering and stood up straight, though her ears were now drooping with shame. Zazu glared disapprovingly at her.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"What did I tell you about coming with Chaka and Shani for their lesson?" Simba said.

"To be good," Timira said in a tiny voice.

Simba nodded, then turned back to Chaka.

"So what would you do to really get the monkeys' attention, Chaka?"

"I'd roar at them," Chaka said brightly.

"Very good," Simba said, giving Timira a brief, irritated glance to tell her that he hadn't forgotten about her. "Sometimes, a roar is all it takes to make any animal stop what it's doing and pay attention to you. But you've got to remember..."

Simba trailed off in mid-sentence. He had become aware of a low, thundering noise coming from somewhere off in the distance. He stared in the direction that the sound was coming from, and the three cubs turned around to see what he was looking at. The source of the thundering was a huge dust cloud that seemed to be storming across the plains, rapidly approaching them.

The dust cloud drew nearer and nearer, and the thundering noise became so loud that the ground beneath the lions began to shake. Then, just as the cloud was about to enter the shade beneath the acacia tree, there was a skidding sound and the thundering ceased. After a few seconds, the dust cloud cleared, revealing a large rhinoceros, grunting and wheezing in an attempt to catch its breath

Perched on the rhino's head was another hornbill, but unlike Zazu, it was a female. Her feathers were a bright sky blue, and clutched in her right foot was a long, straight stick with a few leaves still clinging to the end.

Simba recognized her at once. It was Binti, a beautiful, free-spirited young hornbill whose favorite hobby was riding rhinos. As Simba looked at her, he felt Zazu tremble slightly as he perched on his shoulder. The king managed to suppress a smirk.

"Greetings, Your Highness," Binti chirped happily. "And good day to you, Nala. And you too, Chaka, Shani, Timira."

She paused, then glanced up at Zazu.

"Oh!" she said in surprise. "Sorry, Zazu, I didn't notice you there!"

"Quite all right, madam, quite all right," Zazu said. Though Simba could tell the hornbill was trying to maintain his dignified air, there was still a nervous tremor in his voice that couldn't be ignored.

"What have you been up to today?" Binti asked casually.

"Oh, the usual," Zazu said, shifting his weight uneasily on Simba's shoulder. "Investigating disputes, searching for any trouble lurking about the Pride Lands...you know, the usual...stuff."

The three cubs had become acutely aware of how odd the normally stern, unflappable Zazu was suddenly acting. They stared quizzically, first at him, then at Binti, then back at him again. Shani was the first to speak:

"Uh...Zazu, what's the matter?"

Zazu instantly changed back into his normal snooty self.

"Nothing, Princess," he snapped defensively. "Nothing at all is the matter."

"But why were you stammering and shaking so much just then?" Shani asked.

"No reason," Zazu said shortly. "And it's rude to keep pestering your elders with questions, Princess."

"I know why you were acting like that," said Timira with a sly grin.

Shani and Chaka both gazed expectantly at her while Zazu glared coldly at the dark little cub.

"You're in love with Binti, aren't you?"

Both Shani and Chaka burst out laughing and Simba and Nala found themselves unable to keep from snickering as well. All Binti did was glance downward and smile bashfully.

"Nonsense! Utter nonsense!" Zazu squawked. "She and I are acquaintances, nothing more!"

"Zazu has a girlfriend!" Timira chanted. "Zazu has a girlfriend!"

"Impudent child!" Zazu huffed.

"Have you started building a nest yet?" Chaka giggled.

"When can we see the eggs?" Shani asked.

Zazu shut his eyes and covered his face with his wings for a moment.

"All right, you nosy little urchins!" he burst out. "If you want the truth, I'll give it to you: I have become rather fond of the young Miss Binti, but I would certainly not go as far to as to say that she is my 'girlfriend', as you put it, and I certainly doubt that she and I will be building a nest anytime soon."

"He's gonna marry Binti," Timira chanted, completely oblivious to Zazu's words.

Zazu angrily ruffled his feathers.

"Well, I suppose that makes us even, then," he stormed.

Timira stopped chanting and stared up at Zazu, looking puzzled.

"What do you mean, Zazu?"

Zazu had suddenly become flustered again, and for some reason, Simba was giving him the same look he had given Timira when she misbehaved.

"Nothing," he stammered. "Nothing at all. Forget I even brought it up."

"Come on, Zazu," Timira insisted, "what do you mean, 'that makes us even?'"

"I tell you, it's nothing! It's of no consequence to you at all."

"But Zazu -- "

Simba sighed and shook his head.

"I guess we'll have to tell them now," he muttered.

"I'm terribly sorry, Sire," Zazu said meekly. "I didn't mean to let it slip."

"Let what slip?" Chaka asked.

Simba looked solemnly down at the three cubs.

"Chaka," he said to his son, "You and Timira were betrothed shortly after you were born. When you two are old enough, you will be married."

There was an empty silence for a few moments, then Chaka and Timira flinched and stared at each other, making noises of disgust. Shani stared in mute shock at her brother, then at Timira.

"But I don't wanna marry Chaka!" Timira protested.

"Yeah, me neither," Chaka chimed in. "I mean -- I don't wanna marry Timira!"

"I know," Simba said gently, faintly remembering his and Nala's reactions to hearing the news that they were betrothed. "You may not like the idea at first, but that's just the way things are in this pride. Just give it time. You may not want to marry each other now, but things might just change later."

He glanced over at Nala, who smiled warmly at him.

They certainly did for us, he thought.

[KiarasMate]

*claps his paws in applause*

Wow, this just proves that my initial assumption was more than accurate, as your writing is definitely worth reading Akril. ^^ May I first start by saying, I absolutely love your attention to detail and you draw out your scenes so smoothily and vividly, it's pure genius in my opinion. You portray all of the canon TLK character's perfectly and your new characters seem indeering and relatable. I also must congratulate you on the length of this chapter, as this is exactly how long I think all chapters for Fan Fics should be. It's enough text to get you quite enthralled in the story, but not too much to be overwhelming. You move the story along at a pleasant pace and everything seemed to blend wonderfully in this first chapter. I can easily say that I have not a single qualm or issue to bring to your attention in regards to your writing, as I truly didn't find anything that I thought, needed improvement and that's rare for me, since I typically can find at least one thing to comment upon but in your case, I think you have everything down perfectly and I truly can't wait to read the next chapter of this marvelous story. You've definitely made a fan out of me and I hope you'll keep up the amazing work my friend. ^^

[Mike]

This is awesome! =D I have to admit that when I read the prologue I was a bit worried about the flow and pace of parts to come, but you completely blew me away here!

This is just so believably Lion King! Awesome job capturing the characters, especially Zazu and Simba. Their dialogue is so good that it's not only possible, but natural and easy to hear the words in the voices of the movies. And though I think it's pretty tough to give cubs any sort of personality beyond just spunky and energetically naive, you're handling them superbly. You've taken on an impressive challenge with three never-before-seen cub characters, but they're all presented as individuals and well fleshed out, keep it up!

I especially love how you've given Zazu so much "page-time" as it were. The pridelands aren't the same without Zazu, and without Zazu to tease and disobey, cubs are often fairly aimless in fanfics or RPs. His character and presentation is very important in allowing me to think about the fanfic as a continuation of the series rather than a fanfic that somebody threw together.

All in all, terrific work, you're a great writer, and TLK is lucky to be fanfic-d by you ^.^