Real-Life Relationships

[it means no worries]

Go to a bar maybe^

[Carl]

[quote="Above-And-Beyond"]Not really doing himself any favours then. It's different if you don't want one or don't really care but all this talk of "luck" and "hope" is just... Well I don't get it. Winning the lottery takes luck and is something to hope for. But you can do something to help your relationship status, which is actually start asking people out and expressing interest.[/quote]
Well the thing is, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you have to find someone you're interested in before you can start asking people out and expressing interest. I asked out both of the partners I've had, so it's not that I can't do that, it's just that there's a shortage of people in Tennessee whom I could get along with enough to want to be with them. I admittedly don't leave the house as much as I should due to general inability and babysitting, but I don't just stay home all the time. I go to the park, the library, the store, and to my university. I meet new people semi-regularly. Most of the men are too politically/religiously different from me for it to work and most of the women are way too obviously straight (i.e. bragging about their fiances/boyfriends). People who are taken, disagree with me on serious issues, or who aren't interested in women would be a waste of time to pursue.

I intend to search better this semester of university, but it's not all up to me. I have to meet someone who is compatible and catches my interest, and honestly I haven't met anyone IRL who caught my interest since high school. If I find someone interesting, yes I'll do something about it. Gotta find that person first though. Isn't really up to me whether or not someone of interest shows up. I do agree that people have to put in effort or it won't happen, though, it's necessary to actually meet people and interact with them. One of them still has to be interesting, and available.

[Gemini]

I have to agree with Julie here. I mean, I guess I don't have too much experience with dating or trying to meet people, but then even just a year and a half ago I didn't think I would ever be doing it at all. Withdrawing yourself completely and never making friends obviously isn't going to help if you want a relationship, but some of it really is just being in the right place at the right time. I never really set out looking for one - I had a few crushes and I think deep down I wanted to be with someone, but I convinced myself that I would be better off alone, and that if I got a boyfriend I would only end up making the same mistakes as my parents. So I never really looked at it, I just focused on trying to get my life back on track and improving things with myself. Regaining self-confidence and all. I think that was really necessary, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am today, and have the great friends and the boyfriend that I have. If I'd been worrying over being single and tried to force myself into a relationship, it probably wouldn't have worked out well with the emotional state I was in and everything. Like Flip and Julie both said, you have to love yourself and be comfortable with yourself first; I think that's the most important thing. You can't be dependent on someone else to do that for you.

In any case, though, I never made it a big deal, and in retrospect I'm kind of glad I didn't go searching. When I started talking to Jack we were just friends and had no intention of dating, obviously, but after a little bit it just felt right, I guess. That's the only way I can really describe it. We both already had a strong friendship, similar backgrounds and a lot of things in common, so the attraction was mutual and there wasn't really any hesitation. I've been with him for almost 11 months now and I just have to say that I'm glad things worked out the way they did. It just kinda came naturally and fell into place.

Again, I never have had a breakup or anything so I'm not the most experienced on this topic. I'm just saying that that's how things were for me. You can't really force love, I don't think. You have to let it develop, or it just gets super awkward and uncomfortable.

[WildSimba]

[quote="Above-And-Beyond"][quote="Julie Skywalker"]Yeah I have an uncle in his 40s who's never been with anyone, and I'm pretty sure he won't be as he doesn't ever leave the house. [/quote]

Not really doing himself any favours then. It's different if you don't want one or don't really care but all this talk of "luck" and "hope" is just... Well I don't get it. Winning the lottery takes luck and is something to hope for. But you can do something to help your relationship status, which is actually start asking people out and expressing interest.[/quote]

This. It's not inappropriate to ask people out if you're interested in them, and you think they might be interested in you. It's also not always an instantaneous thing. I knew the person that I'm dating for 2+ years prior to even asking them out. Honestly, it takes more time to worry about it, then making friends and building up from there. If you don't go out desperately asking for relationships, it'll come to you naturally eventually. Trust me, I've been on both sides, it doesn't work to date just to not be single. Find someone you're truly compatible with, then date.

[Carl]

^ I can certainly agree with that. I personally have never dated someone I hadn't befriended first... I know some people do but it's not for me. When I talk about searching, I mean I have to go out of my way to make friends who could potentially become romantic interests or it isn't likely to happen, all things considered.

Desperately looking for people turns the right kind away and draws in the bad kind... I've seen plenty of crime documentaries to support that.

[Ultra Fox]

WildSimba has been my BF for a few years now.

[NaiaRulez]

I had a boyfriend about a month ago, but we broke up because I wasn't ready about it and because I liked him only at the first time. I also had a boyfriend 2 years ago, and we went go more seriourly as a pairing, but we broke up because we wanted to be only friends, but i think he still liking me XD
Now I'm single and free!! XD (But I've got a crush on my redhead Calum XD)

[ScarsLove]

Forever alone here. Although I do have a crush.

[juhouh]

[quote="Nicholas"]Just wondering, is it normal I've been single for over 23 years already?[/quote]
Yes. I'm 21 soon and same here. Although I'm part of a huge circle of friends I'm just good as a friend and not being in relationship. It's my personality