Recent Happenings

[Moka]

Recently, I've noticed an increase in passive aggressiveness in posts, mostly in The Den. As a reminder, our rules state the following:

[quote]Trolling, baiting, flaming, abusing, or bullying others. Remain courteous and respectful to all members at all times.[/quote]

I'd like to again stress that being, well, nice is pretty important to the culture we have at MLK. Without the friendly, warm community that we have, the friendships we've made wouldn't have happened. We'd have a hostile environment where members want to leave left and right.

If I may, I'd like to remind people that MLK isn't like the rest of the Internet. Almost all of the other websites you visit (Twitter, Facebook, Telegram, reddit) are run by companies that have full-time employees moderating and curating the content. MLK was built by me in my free time, moderated by volunteers, is totally free, and doesn't sell your personal data or show you ads. I'm just asking that the members of MLK be treated better than the randos on the rest of the Internet.

Another point I'd like to reiterate is people need to communicate better and assume good intentions. I've asked this of the community before, in December. If we become segregated in our cliques, it quickly becomes Us vs Them. Posts are often misconstrued. Perspective plays a really big role. The solution it to broaden our perspective as much as possible.

To help accomplish this, I've added a new profile field for entering your Telegram username. A lot of MLK members use Telegram, so it should be really easy to reach out to other members individually. Start talking to people. Asking them to explain a post of theirs benefits everyone: you have a better picture of their true intent, and they get to reevaluate how things are worded.

Oh, and stickers are cute. But MLK has had them for years.



P.S: Telegram username option is below MLKFAA and Wiki URLs in UCP -> Profile settings.

[Elton John]

Thank you.

Is it really so hard to be nice to others, even if you dislike them or certain things they say? I don't want to see this community I love completely die....

[Marizzle]

Moka has pretty much said everything there's to said.

I have recently spoken to Malibu and we've both expressed our problems and doubts, which eventually led to a solution. As it's obvious, everyone has a different interpretation of things and not everyone enjoys certain things. If said thing is within what's acceptable, it's normal that some people may feel insulted by it, even if others see as "okay" - we're all humans, after all! If a post bothers you or you feel like it insults you, contact the use who has posted it and they'll most likely explain it and even remove/edit it. If things don't turn out okay, then you should ask for the staff to step in. These thoughts were part of what we debated and agreed on.

Basically, what I am trying to say is that, at the moment, things have been cleared out between the involved "parties" and will most likely not happen again. Even if so happens, they'll be dealt directly between the involved members, no matter status/title (if I'm making myself understandable).

Regarding Telegram, it is indeed a good add to the forum.

[FlipMode]

Telegram is a good addition since so many seem to be using it
And yeah better communication instead of passive aggressive vague comments in the den would help. It's an awkward conversation to have with someone but a necessary one to keep MLK a positive place to be. It'll also help the staff as well, with better and more mature communication, the staff should be able to make a more informed decision with regards to how and what steps they will take to deal with issues that do come up

[Si-Amber]

I obviously need to catch up with you youngsters, because in my day a telegram was something you got from the Queen for your 100th birthday.

[WildSimba]

I'm just popping in here to leave some food for thought. Compassion and Neutrality over actions by the staff team on this forum, have to go through both sides. Members shouldn't post about private moderator actions on the forum - and moderator's should do such a thing either. I think that while it's important for the staff to keep a nice neutral approach and not be hostile and passive aggressive themselves, I also think it's up to us members to not eat into the bait and allow ourselves to become a worse community as a result.

And to those saying they don't see the "Toxicity" on the forum, just think of the fact that just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. To give such a statement is to indirectly give passiveness on the idea that there is anything wrong going on in the forum. We need awareness - not passiveness, that's what this topic is about.

We can't go forward as a friendly community until we admit there's a problem, and even if you, or I for that matter personally don't like that it has this problem, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I do understand that a lot of it is very subtle and a lot of people aren't going to see or even get what it is that is being talked about, but acknowledging the fact that the forum is losing activity because some members are feeling unwelcome on both sides is a good step towards the change that we're looking for. As a community we can combat the negativeness that has happened over the last few months, and grow as a whole out of it.

I'm calling here for everyone to take what Moka said here very seriously - as a community we have to set an example for the newer people that come on, otherwise no one new will ever want to come and make this wonderful forum active.

[Squeely]

I agree with everything Moka has said. We definitely need to be friendly with each other, and communicate!

I try my best to be nice to everyone. I have never once meant to offend. I also try to remain neutral and supportive to everyone ^.^ If you ever feel that anything I've said or done hurt you, you can contact me here via PM or on Telegram. Would also appreciate anyone adding me there just to chat. I really would love to get to know all of you better!

[DGFone]

I can echo what Squeely says. If you want someone friendly to chat to, just send me a message! I know I am not on a lot of the time, but I think that if anything, like others have mentioned already, I was under the impression of "what passive aggressiveness?". Therefor, I can safely consider myself not jaded enough to react in a hostile manner.

So if you want to talk - I don't bite!

[Carl]

I'm glad that some people were unaware that there was a problem. Honestly it was all very ridiculous, and it would have stressed even more people and gotten even worse had everyone been aware of it, I'm sure.

No one involved handled this properly at all, myself included. Maybe even especially me. But hopefully it's all resolved/being resolved now and everyone can go back to enjoying MLK again.

[Gaze]

yeah, I had absolutely no clue there was a problem, but the increase in people wanting to leave and the general decrease in activity has got me wondering what we can do to make MLK a more positive and active community. I like the Telegram idea and definitely invite anyone who'd like to chat to reach out to me!