Return of the Riders

Return of the Riders

Postby Dark Huntress » April 27th, 2013, 9:55 pm

This is actually a OT FanFic for Christopher Paolini's Inheritance cycle and I would appreciate your feedback. I'll attempt to explain what's going on and would like to know how well I do that. Any suggestions for edits explaining things would be very helpful, thank-you for reading, if anyone does...I hope you enjoy!!!
(And sorry if my chapters are rather short: it's an attempt to ensure I have new chapters every week!)

CHARACTERS: show
Characters(Mine, that is to say: fabricated):
Riders:
Rhinnëa (Rih-NAY-uh) [elf]
Halfrida (Hal-FREE-da) [dwarf]

Wyrden (WURH-din) [mostly elf]
Marzokh (Mar-ZOK) [urgal]
Ajihad (Ah-ZEE-hod) [human]



Dragons:
Gweir (GUH-ware)
Casheseghra (CASH-eh-SAH-grah)

Aiedail (Ay-uh-DALE)
Jacinta (Juh-SIN-tuh)
Ruhettye (ROO-het-yeh)


Spoiler: show
Chapter 1: Rhinnëa the Rider

Rhinnëa cracked her knuckles as she reached for the woodworked ceiling. She frowned as she realized her soulmate, Gweir, was not in his nest.
With another stretch, she rose to her full, slender height. She unlatched the cover for her bathing pool and stripped. She couldn't help a feeling of contentment from spreading through her as she slipped into the warm, clear water.

She took her time bathing and was relaxing in the comforting liquid when a mighty force rattle her elven apartment. "Barzûl," she muttered, using a dwarven curse that had rubbed off on her.
Gweir, the dragon she had bonded with, shook his silver scales, sending white lights dancing around the spacious open room, before pushing her armor and sword, Ignasia, towards her.
Little one, it is past time.
Rhinnëa scrambled out the pool and dried and clothed herself with a quick, inaudible spell: Arya-elda did not reward or condone tardiness. She cast a despairing glance at her untidy hair in a full length mirror as Ignasia's belt slid around her narrow waist before muttering another spell.
A brief smile flickered across her full pink lips as her pale, shimmering blonde hair smoothed and wound itself into a long, thick neat braid which hung to her waist. She pushed a band under her bangs so that it laid across her smooth brow, the white gold making her flaxen hair seem even brighter and the emeralds perfectly matching her wide, slanted eyes.
She leapt up Gweir's foreleg, using whatever she could hold onto without hurting herself or Gweir, and pulled herself onto the elegant saddle that their teacher, Arya Dröttning, Shadeslayer and Dragon Rider, had taught Rhinnëa to create. Let's go, she said, buckling her log legs into the appropriate saddle straps. With a large leap, Gweir sailed into the clear, cloudless sky and gentle breeze.

Every time she saw Ellesmera, the elves' capitol city and her birthplace, from above, it took her breath away. The stately woods and graceful, twisting structures had an unmistakable and simple beauty about them, as did the elves who roamed the subtle streets.
She couldn't help but smile as she felt Gweir humming beneath her, his sides vibrating like a purring giant cat. Happy? she asked.
Aiedail-the-morning-star shines bright and warms me and my partner-of-heart-and-mind is with me to see it's beauty and feel its warmth. Yes, Little One, very.
Good, Rhinnëa grinned,Your happiness is tickling my legs!
Gweir's sides rumbled as he laughed with Rhinnëa, their laughter sounding like a great waterfall and tinkling metal together, the sounds blending perfectly in the sky with the wind rushing past them.


Spoiler: show
Chapter 2: The Riders

Their flight was rather short and Rhinnëa was rather saddened when Gweir tilted his large, leathery grey wings towards a peridot clearing.
With the ease and elegance that only a elf can accomplish, Rhinnëa loosened herself and jumped off the saddle, letting herself tumble through the air. She turned in flips and spun as if she was diving towards a lake.
"Letta!" She exclaimed, stopping herself about ten feet away from the soft, brilliant green grass. She released the spell, rolled as she hit the ground, and smoothly stood on her tiptoes as a continuation of her roll. She bowed, laughingly, in response to the clapping that erupted from her fellow Riders, or Shur'tugal, in elvish.
There were four, besides herself and Arya-elda, and all made her feel somewhat insignificant, them all being royalty. Though she did take immense pride in being an elf.
The oldest was an Urgal standing a little over nine feet tall. He was good-natured however and extremely protective of the Dwarven princess, Halfrida, the daughter of King Orik and Queen Hvedrâ, who reached only to Rhinnëa's thigh at the grand total height of about three feet. Marzokh, the Urgal, was the son of Nar Garzhvog, leader of the Urgal clans. Then there was Ajihad, son of Nasuada, the queen of the empire, and the Rider Murtagh.
Wyrden, however, was by far the most notable, he was the son of Arya Dröttning, Dragon Rider and queen of the elves, also the fourth and most recent living Shadeslayer, the dragon egg ferrier, among other, less notable, honorable things, and Eragon Kingkiller, also a Dragon Rider, the third living Shadeslayer, and the Liberator of Algaesia from Galbatorix the Evil's reign.

Rhinnëa fell among her comrades, laughing and teasing them as they did to her. They were one. One in pleasure, in sorrow, in anger, in victory, in defeat, in everything. They were one, even as they were one with the dragons they were bound to.
"Very impressive, I think you defeated my exhibition for the day," Wyrden smiled, long white teeth flashing, as he referred to the custom of their arrivals.
"Little elfling always win!" Marzokh exclaimed in his roughly accented voice which sounded like rolling thunder. Rhinnëa inclined her head slightly,"Why thank-you, Marzokh, Wyrden!"
You enjoy praise much, Little One, Gweir commented with great amusement. Rhinnëa could sense the other dragons that were playing around him. Oh, be quiet, she mentally glared at him. You are the one normally being praised and petted, you don't seem to mind flattery or preening then!
Gweir grunted and mostly withdrew from her conscious.
Rhinnëa shook her head and laughed,"Dragons!" Wyrden shrugged slightly. "I completely concur," he turned as Ajihad stopped a few feet behind him.
Before he could address his cousin, a large green dragon dropped out of the sky and landed, shaking Rhinnëa, Marzokh, Wyrden, and Ajihad. A thin, tall figure alit from the green dragon's back, her black hair billowing behind her.
The green dragon, Fírnen, snaked his head past his Rider, Arya, to turn a giant, grass green eye on his pupils. Greetings, hatchlings, he hummed to them.
Arya nodded at the young Riders, greeting them in the ancient language. They replied in kind and she smiled. "Ever steady, Halfrida," she commented casually.
Rhinnëa looked down at the small, rather rotund female dwarf that had sidled up in-between her and the boys. Halfrida gave Marzokh a smug smirk as he jumped, a result of him not realizing she was standing by him, barely reaching to the bottom of his thick thigh.
"The end is near when a dwarf can sneak up on you!" Ajihad gave Marzokh and Halfrida a wry smile. He shrugged as they glared at him,"Sorry, it's the truth!"
However, both Halfrida and Marzokh were too good-natured to pursue it. Instead, little Halfrida, or Frida as they called her sometimes, piped up. "You're always teasing me about how I'm going to have to use a spell to mount Ruhettye, I think the day is fast approaching," she laughed as she brought up the old joke concerning herself and Ruhettye, her ruby colored dragon.
Marzokh flashed a wide, intimidating grin. "Little dragon is becoming too big for tiny dwarf," he chuckled. Frida laughed with him as did Arya, Wyrden, and Rhinnëa, their laughter mixing to form an oddly mismatching chorus of happiness.
Arya soon sobered and drew her emerald sword, Tamerlein. "Come, let us to our lesson!" She exclaimed, bearing down on Wyrden, who barely had enough time to yank his golden sword from its sheath and block her heavy blow.
They cast the appropriate spells to block the edges of their weapons while they were locked in combat and continue their battle, while the others watched with interest.
Fírnen watched his Rider batter her son back for a few moments, enigmatically flicking his red tongue in and out of his great mouth before spreading his wings to search for his students, whom were probably carousing around.
"Relax, Wyrden," Arya ordered rather quietly."Open up, let your blade move itself."
Wyrden attempted to obey, but instead he received a large welt across his lower back as a result of his reaction being too slow. "Ah," he winced as she stepped away from him.
"Pair off," Arya gestured Tamerlain's thin, emerald blade at the spar's audience,"Halfrida and Rhinnëa, Ajihad and Marzokh."
The small 'crowd' dissipated and took up sides against one another. Rhinnëa stood about ten feet away from Frida and drew Ignasia from its soft grey sheath. Frida mirrored her with Azheldema and they stood staring at each other.
Rhinnëa's grasp tightened around the silver, wire-wrapped hilt as she stared at Halfrida, her slanted green eyes burning into Halfrida's bright, round blue ones. She broke the silence first, a clarion yell tearing from her open mouth as she charged Frida.
She blocked the quick, sideways slash Frida directed at her and pushed Azheldema's blood red blade down, trapping it between her boot and the ground. She touched Ignasia's silvery blade to Frida's collarbone and whispered,"Dead."
Frida pulled away and gave a heavy sigh. "You can always best me so easily, it's not even fair!" Rhinnëa smiled faintly.
"At least most opponents would have to adjust themselves to the size variation, also, you're tough! Which is good!"
Frida shrugged,"You're tough too." Rhinnëa handed Frida Azheldema, which had fallen to the ground.
"Few would know." She grinned wryly,"for few have touched me!"


Spoiler: show
Chapter 3: Lessons of Altitude
Gweir pulled his wings against his large body and angled downwards towards the amethyst back of Jacinta, Dragon-partner-of-Ajihad. He blinked as small drops of humidity accumulated on his clear outer eyelids. He spread his wings quickly before colliding with his fellow dragon and flicked his tail, rapping her thigh.
Watch from above, Fírnen scolded Jacinta gently.
Gweir hummed as he disappeared into the high, white clouds-victory was sweet indeed!
He turned quickly, spiraling to avoid Aiedail, who was barreling towards him like a large, golden sun ray. He dove under her as she turned, then angled upwards, attempting to shake her from his path.
Aiedail, however, remained resolute as she followed him, her agility far more notable than his. He flipped onto his back, then pulled up, opening his large maw and enveloping her in a large stream of silver and orange fire.
As she shrank under the heat, he angled underneath her and pulled up, gently nipping her stomach. Well played, Silver-hide, she sniffed.
Many thanks, Starscales.
Aiedail soared away, presumably to attack another or to nurse her wounded pride. Gweir watched her fly away, unknowingly letting his defenses down.
He thus yelped when he felt a small, but very noticeable weight latch onto his back and bit the base of his large, silvery neck.
Ruhettye, he protested, a little whiningly,that wasn't fair! I wasn't ready.
He pulled away from her gentle but firm grasp as she snorted, amused. And I have to wait until you're ready when you can tear my hide with your big-iron-claws-and-teeth? No. She flew in a circle around him as he attempted to hover.
Gweir inclined his reptilian head. She did have a point-he was nearly three times her size, being older, male, and having a just naturally larger build than her elegant, petite one. Fine, he growled and flapped his wings, propelling himself forward.
Don't ever let your defenses down.
Gweir shook his massive head as if to shake away the sting that resonated from Fírnen's reprimand,Yes, Ebrithil. He snorted,disgusted at himself, smoke unfurling from the pits of his nostrils.
His self-pity was short-lived, however, as Aiedail swooped out of the clouds above him, causing him to turn sharply to avoid her. Puzzlement entrapped him as she merely sped past him, however, understanding replaced his confusion as Casheseghra, the giant black dragon of Marzokh, the Urgal swept down after her. He followed Aiedail, pushing himself to catch the fleet female golden dragon.
Please tell me you have a plan, Starscales.
Uh, she twisted into a spiral and dove towards the earth, hard-pressing Gweir to follow. Run was about it.
Gweir chuckled a little, the flames in his nostrils spurting forward. May I?
She pressing her left wing against her streamline body and thrust her right wing out, spinning to the right. Be my guest, she struggled to gain her balance and nearly gave Gweir a nasty blow with her thin tail.
Watch it! He hissed, much more vehemently than he felt, then held his wings out, slowing to an uncomfortable speed and straining his chest. He twisted and flew rather slowly towards Casheseghra, whom he knew would be dropping out of the clouds anytime now.
When the large black dragon did, Gweir lingered for a moment, ensuring Casheseghra saw him. He turned quickly and flew away, going slow enough Casheseghra could catch him.
Starscales-a little help, he said as he turned and collided with Casheseghra's side. Ouch, he thought as several bones popped. This wasn't my best idea.
Just as Casheseghra spun on him, Aiedail hurled herself threw the clouds at him and latched onto him, scraping her claws against his opaque scales in what would've been terrible wounds had she not stayed the amount of force going into them.
Well planned, Silverhide, Starscales, Casheseghra's voice boomed through their heads,You make worthy opponents.
Gweir rolled his eyes as he felt Aiedail's conscience where she was preening and congratulating herself at the large dragon's praise. She's more drawn to him than a little-fly-to-honey, he remarked to himself, faintly amused.
Come, hatchlings, let us to our next lesson.
The gathered dragons gave each-other looks and tilted their wings so that they angled towards the clearing where they knew their Riders were.


Chapter 4
Spoiler: show
Chapter 4: Controlling Your Conscience
Gweir folded his wings against his massive, silver body as he landed heavily. It pleased him to see Rhinnëa wore a cheerful smile. He hummed as she scratched the scales surrounding the spikes on his cheeks, a place that often itched though he could reach it.
Thank-you, Little One. He turned a large, grey eye on her and blinked once. Did you move your silver-steel-stick fast?
Frida never saw it coming. Did you fly fast and fight well?
He shuffled his wings. Yes, I attacked three-times-well and was attacked once. Before they could continue their mental conversation, Arya spoke up.
"Now," she said in her little-bird-singing voice,"we will train your minds."
Gweir stomped quietly. He did not much these Rider-and-dragon-mind against Rider-and-dragon-mind training exercises.
Please hide your dislike, Rhinnëa scolded him.
He agreed with much grumbling and they faced Wyrden and Aiedail-their opponents.
Gweir and Rhinnëa's minds where already melded and easily deflected the blade of thoughts Wyrden and Aiedail thrust at their conscience. They focused on their love for eachother, making their minds impenetrable, then lashed out with a tendril of emotions.

The mental battle lasted several minutes and it concluded in a draw, Rhinnëa being an equal match to Wyrden and Aiedail fending Gweir off with feisty attacks.
Rhinnëa opened her emerald eyes and wiped her brow. She was sure that if the battle had been life or death and had thus continued further she and Gweir would've won. She shrugged off the resulting smugness and laid a hand on Gweir's side.
Well done, she smiled at him. He wiggled his tail. Thank-you, Little One.

Sorry about the really short chapter. Nobodies even reading this, so...I think it's okay.


(Next chapter will be very soon!)
Last edited by Dark Huntress on May 9th, 2013, 1:48 am, edited 9 times in total.
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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby DreamEater » April 27th, 2013, 10:32 pm

Interesting story! Keep at it, I wanna see more!
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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby Dark Huntress » April 27th, 2013, 10:33 pm

Oh, hi! Thanku ^^ it's kinda boring right now...
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Sisters/BFs: Scarsmate, Meeko, Kiki, Redkite, and SimbaObsessor
Uncle: Tora
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ADORBZ [fluffy!] kitty friend: OuRaion

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Thank-you, Darth Julie for the amazing avatar!!!
And thx, Silver for the kickbutt siggy!

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Love with every bit of who you really are, not with who you pretend to be.

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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby Dark Huntress » May 2nd, 2013, 12:16 am

ALERT!!!! SHAME ON ME: DOUBLE POST :o

Anyway, just wanted say I have two new chapters up. Hope you enjoy ^^
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Uncle: Tora
Godfather: James
Brother: Realmofthedragon
Mother: Wolfishgirl
Aunt: Unikels
ADORBZ [fluffy!] kitty friend: OuRaion

Credits Where Due: show
Thank-you, Darth Julie for the amazing avatar!!!
And thx, Silver for the kickbutt siggy!

My Philosophy: show
Love with every bit of who you really are, not with who you pretend to be.

FanFics:
Feedback appreciated! Please check it out!
Bond of Brothers

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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby Zoketi » June 29th, 2013, 4:20 am

OH INHERITANCE FANFIC *dances*
It's lovely so far! Keep going!
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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby Dark Huntress » June 29th, 2013, 8:57 pm

I didn't think anyone was reading this and thus pretty much gave up! Thank-you, though, and I will!
Thx Silver ^^ Image
My MLK Family and Friends: show
Sisters/BFs: Scarsmate, Meeko, Kiki, Redkite, and SimbaObsessor
Uncle: Tora
Godfather: James
Brother: Realmofthedragon
Mother: Wolfishgirl
Aunt: Unikels
ADORBZ [fluffy!] kitty friend: OuRaion

Credits Where Due: show
Thank-you, Darth Julie for the amazing avatar!!!
And thx, Silver for the kickbutt siggy!

My Philosophy: show
Love with every bit of who you really are, not with who you pretend to be.

FanFics:
Feedback appreciated! Please check it out!
Bond of Brothers

All artists, please join me on my art odyssey!
Dark Huntress
...And this Mortal...

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Re: Return of the Riders

Postby Zoketi » July 7th, 2013, 6:44 am

Hooray c:
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