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This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: December 19th, 2009, 4:29 pm
by WildSimba
Chapter One:

Spoiler: show
Since I've given you a background of whom I am, should I not give you a background of the rest of my family? Well, not the whole thing, that would take months... maybe even years. Instead, I'll give you only what I feel is your right too hear. Before I go into all the murderous tendencies, I'll present you with my family tree. This will be part one of my conquest, into the trial of the unforgiving outlanders.

The first of my familys members I'll talk to you about is my mother. She is a very pleasent monkey to be around, all the time. She is the most insane member of my family. Once, she strapped another monkey to a chair... and well, she "destroyed" his insides. She decided to do this for a reason. You see, the monkey, who's name was Marvin, decided to steal our familys bananas, and rebel against us. This was a big thing for my mother to go through with. She felt horrible afterwards, but, he was asking for it. If she hadn't of killed him, then we'd all be dead right now. For that, oh my brothers, I salute her bravery. She really is the most vulgar person of our family, she might look cute for the outside, but if you mess with her, then your insides are going to be on the floor. Let's call her mom.

Next, I'll tell you of my father. That's right, the wise ol' pops. He's not an insanely great person, and my mother has tried to kill him plenty of times. But she wouldn't. She didn't have the guts, and she definately didn't want his. So she decided not to fret about it. She made him agree something with her though. She had to join our gang of 5, and rebel against the outlanders. He approved, and we went on a spree. You don't get to hear this yet though, for now, you get to hear the next family member. Let's call him dad.

The next person of the family is my sister. There's not much I can say about her, because she's the worst of our family. Our whole family is a group of assasins, but... my sister, can't even strike a person, from two feet away... with a handgun. She has no aim. She will never spill and outlanders blood, she's too innocent. We will call her, She.

The last person, but definately not least, is my brother. He's not really my brother, but I call him that. He's really my friend. He really kills me sometimes, what he does. I don't want too tell you anything yet, because I'll ruin all the entertainment of the story if I tell of my brother. Let's call him, He.

That's my family, we are, the gang of 5 monkeys.

-----

So I told you a big mess of what you are about too hear a million times. I wanted to write this first chapter, to enlighten you a bit before you actually read this story at hand. I am an old monkey, with, well, the mind of a 12 year old. Why is this? My anger runs strong through my veins. I will explode into temper fits. Anyways, this was just an introduction too the part that befolds before you.

Well, this starts out in a time long ago, I can't remember the date, so don't send me a million emails asking what I meant by a certain statement. I DO NOT FREGGIN KNOW. Excuse my french there, but it could of been a whole lot worse. I'm just warning you this now, that this story, beyond this point, I will not remember hardly 1 thing. I am an old monkey, as I said before, and my memory is shot.

My sister was born into an already heptic life. Now I don't remember what age she was when this happened, but I know I was still fairly young... or maybe I was fairly old... hell, I can't remember this stuff anymore. Anyways, one day my mom walks into her room, with a "treatment banana". What these treatment bananas do, is... well, they give you a sudden burst of strength. Their kind of like steriods in the human world, but their much more powerful, and well... if a human was around, their head would be torn strait from the roots.

My mother peeled the skin off of the banana. She trashed the skin, considering it was useless now. She then got the needle ready, and stabbed my sister strait in the chest with it. Now I don't know if this was some horrible fantasy, but her arms started too bubble, a few seconds after injected. Big open wounds formed on her arms. The craters on her arms oozed out blood, as my sister screamed. My mom then saw me watching from behind the door, and ran but too me, and put her hand over my mouth, and injected me with the same needle she used on my sister.

The next thing I remembered was laying on my bed, I couldn't move my arms, and there was dried up blood all over the bed. I had huge muscles though, for some odd reason. They were bulging, and although there were huge scabs on my arms where the craters had been, I felt ready too get up. But I couldn't get up, I was pretty much paralyzed. Tears flowed from my eyes, as my mom walked into the room, with a bucket, and a sponge.

"I'm very sorry, honey, but since you witnessed you sisters horrible transformation, I had no choice but too do your earlier, as too avoid confusion," said my mother in a sweet voice.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHY DID YOU INJECT ME SUCH A HAZARDOUS THING? ARE YOU TRYING TO SHORTEN MY ALREADY SHORT LIFE?" I couldn't help tears from flowing out of my eye sockets.

"I'm sorry... you forced me too though. But now that you've been injected we have too have... 'the talk'," she said, and pulled me up too her, and called my sisters name.

My sister looked a whole lot better now, but she was still swollen, and there was still a bit of dried up blood under her nose. She sat down next too me, with a blank expression on her face.

"You see kids, we had to get you under the transformation from monkey too ape early. I know we told you this would happen earlier, but we're desperate! We need you guys too join our personal army, and kill some of those outlanders! I know the battle shouldn't be yours, but it has too be this way now! Do you understand? The outlanders are the enemys! We need you too help us! Just promise me... you'll fight with all your might... even when on the verge of death."

How could I promise such a thing, at such an early age? I had too though, because my mother was crying, and it killed me inside. Me and my sister whispered to eachother, and we both ended up, faking smiles, and promising her that we would fight for our life, and others as well. But we didn't mean it. We didn't want too fight, we just wanted too be kids. Boy, how that changed from this point. My mother gaves us a bath, and sent us to bed, prepared to let us join the army in the morning.

Oh, what a life.

-----

I just wanted too say, the first day of the war, everything happened in a rush. My sister, and I, were sitting in the front room of our house waiting for our mom, when the events in this part takes place. Now, I'm not some perfect being. I don't posses any power at all, in fact, and most of my knowlage, is through what my mother had been teaching me since I was born.

She taught me too always keep my head high above the others. Even if there's a claw on my neck, and he's ready to swipe meat off my neck, I'll still be throwing punches, and calling in other members of the army. I had never intended my life too be this way, and sometimes I wish I were born a peaceful black ant or something, so all I could do all day is sleep, eat, and work. They hardly ever really fight.

But us monkeys for some reason, enjoy fighting a lot. I don't know what it is, I guess it's just pure instinct. I'd rather not have an instinct like that through, but damn it, I could change life.

So, we sat in the front room, waiting for my mother, as I had said before. Eventually she came in with two large swords. I instantly wondered why she would be bringing us such harmful weapons. Then she explained too us, not too fast, but not too slow eigther, why she had been giving us swords.

"I'm giving you two these swords... too be stronger then the other monkeys, and so you can have something sharp too dig into the stomachs of the outlanders. It isn't cheating when I'm basically giving you your life. Be very thankful of this."

With those words, she handed us the very sharp swords. She then hurried us out the door. She came after us a few feet, and had us stop there.

"I love you children, and I want you too know, that momma's love will always be with you at all times throughout the battle."

She kissed us on the cheeks, and sent us on our ways. I didn't look back once though. The thought was just so new too me. I didn't want too be those monkeys you always hear about, at get their heads crushed in like a grapefruit, because lions stick their claws into their skin. Lions have a thing for being very... how do I say this? Strong. In other words, I gave her the cold shoulder, but I still remembered that I loved her very much.

From there, I went out too war.

-----

Well, I guess war had started. It hadn't really for me, and I wanted too say this, but if I had, I would of been looked down upon. You see, if you speak up against the older people of the clan, they call it dishonor. I guess it makes sense too though. Even though I didn't agree with the war itself, it is a tad bit dishonoring too deny your family members like that.

For you see, my friends, that is the number one rule in my family. Safety and well-being comes first. Even if you have to risk your life, you must know it's always worth it. It's always worth the extra struggle for family. And as I walked down the path, too the rest of my life, some sad thoughts flooded my mind.

Like, what if I never see my family again, because I am killed? What would they do without me there. Who would not be able too take it, and if so, why couldn't they take it. All these were normal thoughts though, he thought. But they weren't normal thoughts, because he was young, and any soldier should be willing too defend, even if it cost his life.

But I wasn't willing to take his life, for such a stupid thing. But this is how ignorant little kids can be sometimes. You see, they think that their whole life, the world would die if they did. But it doesn't. Everyone dies. We've all lost someone, or are all going to lost someone. The world is still here though, right?

Besides the worst was too come, because as he stepped onto the field, he felt a sharp pain go up his leg, and he left blood running down right afterwards. He looked down too a gunwound. Already? But from where? He looked around but found no one.

I took out my gun, and started firing. Blood starting to squirt from the trees. I knew I had hit my strike.

Blood has now been shed.

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: December 20th, 2009, 12:23 am
by KiarasMate
Explosive bananas? O.o? lol. You got a very wild imagination there WS, but that pairs wonderfully with being a Fan Fic writer. :) It seems like you put a lot of thought into this story plot so I'd say, definitely go for it. ^^ It sounds interesting and I'd be willing to follow your story as you post it. lol. Can't really say much more than that at this point in the game, but if you do decide to write more of this, I'll definitely give you my feedback about it. :)

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: December 20th, 2009, 2:26 am
by WildSimba
So it continues...

Chapter 1.1

Since I've given you a background of whom I am, should I not give you a background of the rest of my family? Well, not the whole thing, that would take months... maybe even years. Instead, I'll give you only what I feel is your right too hear. Before I go into all the murderous tendencies, I'll present you with my family tree. This will be part one of my conquest, into the trial of the unforgiving outlanders.

The first of my familys members I'll talk to you about is my mother. She is a very pleasent monkey to be around, all the time. She is the most insane member of my family. Once, she strapped another monkey to a chair... and well, she "destroyed" his insides. She decided to do this for a reason. You see, the monkey, who's name was Marvin, decided to steal our familys bananas, and rebel against us. This was a big thing for my mother to go through with. She felt horrible afterwards, but, he was asking for it. If she hadn't of killed him, then we'd all be dead right now. For that, oh my brothers, I salute her bravery. She really is the most vulgar person of our family, she might look cute for the outside, but if you mess with her, then your insides are going to be on the floor. Let's call her mom.

Next, I'll tell you of my father. That's right, the wise ol' pops. He's not an insanely great person, and my mother has tried to kill him plenty of times. But she wouldn't. She didn't have the guts, and she definately didn't want his. So she decided not to fret about it. She made him agree something with her though. She had to join our gang of 5, and rebel against the outlanders. He approved, and we went on a spree. You don't get to hear this yet though, for now, you get to hear the next family member. Let's call him dad.

The next person of the family is my sister. There's not much I can say about her, because she's the worst of our family. Our whole family is a group of assasins, but... my sister, can't even strike a person, from two feet away... with a handgun. She has no aim. She will never spill and outlanders blood, she's too innocent. We will call her, She.

The last person, but definately not least, is my brother. He's not really my brother, but I call him that. He's really my friend. He really kills me sometimes, what he does. I don't want too tell you anything yet, because I'll ruin all the entertainment of the story if I tell of my brother. Let's call him, He.

That's my family, we are, the gang of 5 monkeys.

To be continued...

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: December 22nd, 2009, 11:07 pm
by YFWE
Cool story you've got here so far, WS! I like the ideas you've got going on here... I'd recommend using your spell-checker a bit more though, for future reference. It'll make your story even better.

Hope you'll continue!

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: December 31st, 2009, 4:51 am
by WildSimba
[Thanks for the comments, guys! I hope you continue to enjoy my story, I know, this next one is a bit of an insane one...]

Chapter 1.2

So I told you a big mess of what you are about too hear a million times. I wanted to write this first chapter, to enlighten you a bit before you actually read this story at hand. I am an old monkey, with, well, the mind of a 12 year old. Why is this? My anger runs strong through my veins. I will explode into temper fits. Anyways, this was just an introduction too the part that befolds before you.

Well, this starts out in a time long ago, I can't remember the date, so don't send me a million emails asking what I meant by a certain statement. I DO NOT FREGGIN KNOW. Excuse my french there, but it could of been a whole lot worse. I'm just warning you this now, that this story, beyond this point, I will not remember hardly 1 thing. I am an old monkey, as I said before, and my memory is shot.

My sister was born into an already heptic life. Now I don't remember what age she was when this happened, but I know I was still fairly young... or maybe I was fairly old... hell, I can't remember this stuff anymore. Anyways, one day my mom walks into her room, with a "treatment banana". What these treatment bananas do, is... well, they give you a sudden burst of strength. Their kind of like steriods in the human world, but their much more powerful, and well... if a human was around, their head would be torn strait from the roots.

My mother peeled the skin off of the banana. She trashed the skin, considering it was useless now. She then got the needle ready, and stabbed my sister strait in the chest with it. Now I don't know if this was some horrible fantasy, but her arms started too bubble, a few seconds after injected. Big open wounds formed on her arms. The craters on her arms oozed out blood, as my sister screamed. My mom then saw me watching from behind the door, and ran but too me, and put her hand over my mouth, and injected me with the same needle she used on my sister.

The next thing I remembered was laying on my bed, I couldn't move my arms, and there was dried up blood all over the bed. I had huge muscles though, for some odd reason. They were bulging, and although there were huge scabs on my arms where the craters had been, I felt ready too get up. But I couldn't get up, I was pretty much paralyzed. Tears flowed from my eyes, as my mom walked into the room, with a bucket, and a sponge.

"I'm very sorry, honey, but since you witnessed you sisters horrible transformation, I had no choice but too do your earlier, as too avoid confusion," said my mother in a sweet voice.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHY DID YOU INJECT ME SUCH A HAZARDOUS THING? ARE YOU TRYING TO SHORTEN MY ALREADY SHORT LIFE?" I couldn't help tears from flowing out of my eye sockets.

"I'm sorry... you forced me too though. But now that you've been injected we have too have... 'the talk'," she said, and pulled me up too her, and called my sisters name.

My sister looked a whole lot better now, but she was still swollen, and there was still a bit of dried up blood under her nose. She sat down next too me, with a blank expression on her face.

"You see kids, we had to get you under the transformation from monkey too ape early. I know we told you this would happen earlier, but we're desperate! We need you guys too join our personal army, and kill some of those outlanders! I know the battle shouldn't be yours, but it has too be this way now! Do you understand? The outlanders are the enemys! We need you too help us! Just promise me... you'll fight with all your might... even when on the verge of death."

How could I promise such a thing, at such an early age? I had too though, because my mother was crying, and it killed me inside. Me and my sister whispered to eachother, and we both ended up, faking smiles, and promising her that we would fight for our life, and others as well. But we didn't mean it. We didn't want too fight, we just wanted too be kids. Boy, how that changed from this point. My mother gaves us a bath, and sent us to bed, prepared to let us join the army in the morning.

Oh, what a life.

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: January 1st, 2010, 2:00 am
by YFWE
Another cool addition to your story, WS. I'm finding myself rather liking the narrator. I'm also quite interested to see how this'll end up relating to TLK. Keep remembering to use that spell-check, and I'll look for an update soon, I hope!

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: January 1st, 2010, 4:49 pm
by WildSimba
[still thanks, lol]

Chapter 1.3

I just wanted too say, the first day of the war, everything happened in a rush. My sister, and I, were sitting in the front room of our house waiting for our mom, when the events in this part takes place. Now, I'm not some perfect being. I don't posses any power at all, in fact, and most of my knowlage, is through what my mother had been teaching me since I was born.

She taught me too always keep my head high above the others. Even if there's a claw on my neck, and he's ready to swipe meat off my neck, I'll still be throwing punches, and calling in other members of the army. I had never intended my life too be this way, and sometimes I wish I were born a peaceful black ant or something, so all I could do all day is sleep, eat, and work. They hardly ever really fight.

But us monkeys for some reason, enjoy fighting a lot. I don't know what it is, I guess it's just pure instinct. I'd rather not have an instinct like that through, but damn it, I could change life.

So, we sat in the front room, waiting for my mother, as I had said before. Eventually she came in with two large swords. I instantly wondered why she would be bringing us such harmful weapons. Then she explained too us, not too fast, but not too slow eigther, why she had been giving us swords.

"I'm giving you two these swords... too be stronger then the other monkeys, and so you can have something sharp too dig into the stomachs of the outlanders. It isn't cheating when I'm basically giving you your life. Be very thankful of this."

With those words, she handed us the very sharp swords. She then hurried us out the door. She came after us a few feet, and had us stop there.

"I love you children, and I want you too know, that momma's love will always be with you at all times throughout the battle."

She kissed us on the cheeks, and sent us on our ways. I didn't look back once though. The thought was just so new too me. I didn't want too be those monkeys you always hear about, at get their heads crushed in like a grapefruit, because lions stick their claws into their skin. Lions have a thing for being very... how do I say this? Strong. In other words, I gave her the cold shoulder, but I still remembered that I loved her very much.

From there, I went out too war.

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: January 2nd, 2010, 1:55 am
by YFWE
Cool update! Looks like we're finally getting into the TLK-related part, at least that's what I assume. Keep it up!

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: January 7th, 2010, 2:42 am
by WildSimba
Chapter 1.4

Well, I guess war had started. It hadn't really for me, and I wanted too say this, but if I had, I would of been looked down upon. You see, if you speak up against the older people of the clan, they call it dishonor. I guess it makes sense too though. Even though I didn't agree with the war itself, it is a tad bit dishonoring too deny your family members like that.

For you see, my friends, that is the number one rule in my family. Safety and well-being comes first. Even if you have to risk your life, you must know it's always worth it. It's always worth the extra struggle for family. And as I walked down the path, too the rest of my life, some sad thoughts flooded my mind.

Like, what if I never see my family again, because I am killed? What would they do without me there. Who would not be able too take it, and if so, why couldn't they take it. All these were normal thoughts though, he thought. But they weren't normal thoughts, because he was young, and any soldier should be willing too defend, even if it cost his life.

But I wasn't willing to take his life, for such a stupid thing. But this is how ignorant little kids can be sometimes. You see, they think that their whole life, the world would die if they did. But it doesn't. Everyone dies. We've all lost someone, or are all going to lost someone. The world is still here though, right?

Besides the worst was too come, because as he stepped onto the field, he felt a sharp pain go up his leg, and he left blood running down right afterwards. He looked down too a gunwound. Already? But from where? He looked around but found no one.

I took out my gun, and started firing. Blood starting to squirt from the trees. I knew I had hit my strike.

Blood has now been shed.

Chapter one, End.

Re: This Land Is But A Struggle

PostPosted: January 8th, 2010, 4:54 pm
by YFWE
Good addition to your story! I was a little confused, though... you seemed to switch from first to third person narration halfway through the chapter (from I to he)... I'd recommend just sticking with one. That is, unless I just read it wrong and missed something, in which case, never mind! I'd also recommend working on your distinguishing between 'to' and 'too'... I think you get that wrong, like, half of the time. Otherwise, I like it. Gettin' kinda violent now, but that's quite alright. :]