My Lion King Forum

Kibari welder of the Keyblade


Chapter1
A hero is born


One day while Kibari was exploring the Pride Lands he noticed these strange black looking creachers, they looked very odd and suspicious so he decided to investigate to see what they were up to. "Hey!, what are you doing in the Pride Lands?" the odd looking creachers did not respond to his question they started to surround him.Kibari had a panicked look on his face then all of a suddenly they all started to attack him, he looked around the ground felt kind of strange "what's going on,what is this stuff"? he felt himself starting to sink into the black shadow.Kibari struggled to get free, but it was no use the more he tried the faster he sank then he was engulfed by the darkness.Then all of a sudden there was flash of light and he was back in the Pride Lands, "hey, I'm back home" he felt something in his hand.Kibari lifted his arm he was holding a odd key shaped object, "what is this thing?"he also noticed that he was wearing clothes. There was a small puddle on the ground, Kibari looked down into it "whoa i look awesome in this outfit".Kibari went to go see Rafiki when he got there he explained his story to him."hmm sound like you have been chosen by the Keyblade that is the object you are holding, "a keyblade huh" "yes ,that is correct my boy and it chose you for a reason. You are destined to defend the Pride Lands from those black creachers known as the Heartless ","so I'm some kind of hero?,then that is what i will do". he runs off into the distance in his quest to rid the Pride Lands of the Heartless.

This one is a very interesting story

Hmm, interesting start to what could be a great Fan Fic Cdot284. It's a bit too early to say more than that but I look forward to reading more if you decide to expand upon this. Might want to work on a bit more detail and structure for your writing but still, it's a nice change of pace. Keep up the awesome work my friend.

Chapter 2 coming soon

Awesome, I can't wait to read it

I would highly suggest more detail and making sure you use those spaces between your periods and the next sentance. I also a suggest with puncutation. Your story seems interesting, but prehaps a little fast in the going? You could see my Fan-fic for help. (It's labled 'Mahiri's Quest') Other then those, your fan-fic is looking interesting and I'm looking forward to more!

okay thanks

Kibari wilder of the Keyblade

Chapter 2 (Part 0ne)
A mysterious stranger


In the last adventure our hero Kibari found out that, he has been chosen by the keyblade, a mystical weapon that has great power. And is destined to defend the Pride Lands against the threat known as the Heartless, mysterious beings that are made of pure darkness that lurk in the shadows. That are drawn to others who have darkness in their heart, and their main objective is to find the heart of the world that there on and destroy it.

It was a nice sunny day in the Pride Lands, there was a pleasant breeze in the air and there were not very many clouds in the sky. It was a perfect day kibari was lying in the grass relaxing, the sun felt against his fur “hmm I wonder how I summon the Keyblade” .Kibari held out his arm closed his eye and concentrate really heard, in that instant he felt something in his hand.Kibari opened his eyes “I did it, I summoned the Keyblade”.The Keyblade that he was holding had a very unique look, it almost had the appearance of a sword with a lion’s claw at the end. And down towards the handle the frame was u shaped, with seven Safire jewels on it. The keychain itself was shaped like a lion head, and was gold as the sun in the sky.

Kibari sat up he saw a figure in the distance, it was hard to identify who it was. The mysterious figure was getting closer by the minute, “who is that?”Said Kibari he held his hand over his forehead and squinted his sky blue eyes. He leaped up off the ground to his feet, the mysterious figure was now in seeing distance. And it appeared that the mysterious figure was a female lion cub with pink fur and light blue eyes, she had blond hair with a dark pink bow. She was also wearing a light tan vest with a brown belt, and white undershirt and a dark tan skirt. The female cub had some kind of shoulder bag and a gold bracelet on one of her wrists, Kibari ran towards the pink cub and introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Kibari, you must be new here I’ve never seen you before”. The female cub didn’t say any thing she just stared at Kibari, he had a puzzled look on his face. “A, hello are you going to introduce yourself? Just than she noticed that Kibari was holding a strange looking weapon in his other hand, she jumped back. Kibari was confused why she was acting so strange? she was all tense and serous "what's up with you,why are you acting so strange?" the female cub finally spoke "Well the reason why I’m acting so strange, is because of that weapon that you are holding in your hand. He was confused, Kibari thought to himself what does she know about the keyblade,could she be working with the Heartless? There was tension in the air between the two cubs, Kibari spoke "what is it that you know about the keblade?' the female cub had a thoughtfull expression on her face. "So thats what it's called, well if you want to know i tell you.I was once told by a mysterious stranger, that if you see a gray lion with a keyblade he is you enemy." Kbari was shocked, what!! do you mean me? Now he was really confused ''thats not true, i'm not you enemy i want to be you friend.It seems like the female cub didn't want to be friends with Kibari ,as hard as he tried Kibari could not convince her to be his friend or that he was not her enemy. She spoke again "Look,there's no reason to continue this little conversaion any farther.So i'll be on my way, and if i see you again ther will be trouble.Kibari was a little hurt that she did not want to be his friend, he watched the female cub walk off into the sunset.Kibari was feeling tired from the whole ordeal, so he layed down closed his eyes and fell asleep...(To be continued)


This one took me forever to finish ,but i'm that finaly did and it will be awhile before start on part 2.

Nice fanfic, I see that you took the feedback with you into the next chapter. Nice read, keep up the great works! ^^

Thanks TG i'm glad thet you like it