The Friend (Prologue)

The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Rollo » March 1st, 2016, 11:20 pm

.
Last edited by Rollo on February 26th, 2020, 10:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Rollo

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 1064
Joined: January 11th, 2016, 6:01 pm
Pride Points: 29

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Rollo » March 1st, 2016, 11:20 pm

Legal double post because I didn't know how to make a link that could seperate this from the fic! Here’s the prologue to my new one-chapter fanfic, The Friend. I won’t reveal what it’s about yet. This section contains a young Mufasa and Sarabi.

This is my first time writing fanfiction in what could only be years. I’d really appreciate any critiques you may have, although preferably if its to do with the actual writing and not the characterization--no one knows what a young Mufasa and Sarabi were like.

If you’d like to see more from this fanfic, let me know. Support usually makes for speedier writing!
Rollo

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 1064
Joined: January 11th, 2016, 6:01 pm
Pride Points: 29

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Gyramuur » March 2nd, 2016, 1:11 am

I didn't spot any errors with this, and your use of the English language is very good; I'd even go as far as to call it book quality. It's a very well done story, and I'd like to see what happens next. I'm pretty sure I know who he's going to see, though. :)
Image
Gyramuur

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 21
Joined: February 20th, 2014, 10:59 am
Pride Points: 0

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Rollo » March 2nd, 2016, 1:14 pm

Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm flattered by your kind words. :dreamy: I'm finalizing the script for the other chapter of this story. I'll hopefully be able to start it sometime soon.

And yes, I think one line in particular did give away some element of the surprise lol! It felt fitting, though.
Rollo

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 1064
Joined: January 11th, 2016, 6:01 pm
Pride Points: 29

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby UncoordinatedPisces » March 2nd, 2016, 7:47 pm

This sounds like it's going to be a good one! Well written and the description is enough to keep you engaged, as is the dialogue :)
UncoordinatedPisces
just an oddball

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

I'm getting there, one clumsy step at a time

Posts: 9858
Joined: December 22nd, 2010, 1:44 pm
Nickname(s): Amy
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 149

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Rollo » March 2nd, 2016, 8:22 pm

Thank you so much! :hug:
Rollo

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 1064
Joined: January 11th, 2016, 6:01 pm
Pride Points: 29

Re: The Friend (Prologue)

Postby Gyramuur » March 2nd, 2016, 9:50 pm

[quote="lelizwe"]Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm flattered by your kind words. :dreamy: I'm finalizing the script for the other chapter of this story. I'll hopefully be able to start it sometime soon.

And yes, I think one line in particular did give away some element of the surprise lol! It felt fitting, though.[/quote]

Well it's in the title. xP
Image
Gyramuur

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 21
Joined: February 20th, 2014, 10:59 am
Pride Points: 0


Return to Fan Fictions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 32 guests