Fear in his eyes (A small re-creation)

[ScaЯ]

Scar watched as Mufasa leaped into the herd of wildebeests, he pushed through the mighty current, trying desperately to save his only son. Zazu flied next to him and said "Oh Scar, what will we do? I know I'll go back for help!"
Scar knew the bird would ruin his plans if he reached the pridelands, so he quickly smacked him with his paw and watched him slam in to the wall and then fall to the rocky ground.
The heard was moving quickly, and so was Mufasa. He had grabbed Simba and was nearing a ledge. He took Simba to safety, and just as Scar thought this was another loss, a wildebeest smacked in to Mufasa and he fell back in to the roaring heard.
Scar finally had his victory, or so he thought. Mufasa jumped out of the heard and manged to cling to a rock. He climbed right to where Scar was standing. He cried out for his brother to help him, but Scar slammed his paws into Mufasas'. Mufasa screamed in tremendous pain, and Scar pulled him closer. He knew that if he messed up now, he would be exiled, even killed if he was found as the attempted murderer. He smiled and whispered, "Long live the king."
Scar threw him back into the stampede and watched his brother fall to his end.

-it's a more detailed version of the stampede scene! by ScaЯ

[Mike]

It's a more or less accurate description of the scene, but I think that when you go to make a fanfiction you should try to add your own element: something that you created in the story =) Keep practicing and I'm sure you'll improve!

[KopsTheTerminator]

Nice, but kinda short :s I have to agree with Mike here, it was just the long live the king scene with Scar's point of view and nothing else added. Try adding something you add in a fan-fiction with a point of view. Other than that, it was nice to see Scar's point of view. ^^

[CommandoTheLion]

This is cool xD keep practicing.