My Lion King Forum

-Deleted.-

A nice start to your story Kopa23. ^^ I would have to say though, that your chapters are really short and I don't see a need to split your first part into 2 chapters, since it's still in the same scene. Typically, I think chapters should be used when events change, or there is an alteration within the story. I know, it's always fun to have a story with a lot of chapters, since it makes it look better but if the chapters are nothing more than a few paragraphs and interrupt the story too frequently, it can draw your reader out of it, so just keep that in mind. ^^ Aside from that though, this was a nicely written work. I think there is a lot of potential for it thus far, although it's still too early to judge that yet but I'm looking forward to reading more as yu post it. Keep up the wonderful work my friend. ^^

Thanks for your feedback KiarasMate. I made it one chapter. ^^ The small chapters are my sudden lack of creativity. ^^'' It might take me a while to post the new chapter. I want to think a lot about the events here so it'll become an interesting fan-fic.

I love how you put Kopa and Kiara together in the same story! I’ll really look forward to reading about how they interact. As a huge Kiara-fan, it’s very fun and interesting to read a story where Kiara is free of the pressure of becoming Queen.

I always like a good story about Kopa =) One word of advice: make sure that you make Kopa a seperate character from Cubby Simba! A lot of people just copy cubby Simba's personality for Kopa

Nah, don't worry about this, Kopa is alot more stubborn than cubby Simba. And I guess I'll give him a more coward-ish like personality. Thanks for the feedback everyone! =)

I like how you put Kopa and Kiara together! I especially like the ending where you say "But a brownish barren place had caught his eye..." That brings in a lot of suspense! I love it!

Thanks =) I like ending a chapter like that, it makes you want to learn what happens next. ^^

This is awesome i cant wait for more of your parts and storys xD

I'm here to announce that the next chapter will be up shortly. I hit a Writer's Block for some days. D: