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Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: September 27th, 2009, 2:29 pm
by CommandoTheLion
awesome Chapter xD

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: September 28th, 2009, 3:44 am
by KiarasMate
Very nicely written Moka. ^^ Definitely one of your best chapters yet, since the emotions and meaningfulness runs very deeply throughout this part. :) Love the way you portray Uru, as she feels like an honest to goodness TLK character that I've known for the longest time, even though I haven't. lol. ^^ The way that Scar's character is slowly transforming too is very well done. It's beginning to become a bit more clear on how and why he turned out the way he did, yet we still have an emotional attachment to him still, which is good. ^^ Looking forward to the next chapter my friend and keep up the brilliant work. :)

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: October 10th, 2009, 10:42 am
by Moka
Thank you very much. KM, I appreciate your comments very much they have truly helped me become a better writer. I owe a lot of the success of the recent chapters to you, thank you! :] I'm a big fan of simple yet elegant drama. The Greeks had two types of plays: Tragedy and Comedy. Obviously, A Mother's Love is a tragedy. We are stepping back from Scar's evil deeds and watching him grow up from a young cub.

With this fan fic I'm not asking people to change their views on Scar, I'm simply trying to shed a little light as to how a member of the royal family could come to do those horrible things that he did.

So, thanks again for the wonderful and helpful comments ^^ I will try to write another chapter this weekend. It might take me another weekend though.

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: October 10th, 2009, 11:00 am
by thanigraphics
I haven't read your story yet, but I've been reading some comments. My story called "what Zira became" is similar to your story: it changes ones point of view on the villains.

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: October 10th, 2009, 3:24 pm
by Baya
This is a very well written story. I sort of knew Taka was very close to his mother, but it breaks my heart to see him deny his mother's help. = (

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: October 10th, 2009, 3:33 pm
by Applejack
Dis is ingenous. I seriously cannot wait for more Moka ^_^

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: April 27th, 2010, 9:49 am
by Moka
Whoa, massive bump. Like...Kilimanjaro massive.
Finally, a new chapter =P In this chapter, Taka seeks out advice from an old friend of the family. I wish their conversation could've been longer, but it seemed right to end it there. Enjoy!

Rafiki gazed across the Pride Lands on top of his baobab tree. He was just a spec of black on the immense green treetop shown discretely by the bright sunlight of midday. Everything seemed in order until he saw a tawny-red adolescent lion approaching. Rafiki grabbed his stick and disappeared, hidden by the lush leaves of the fully grown baobab tree.

The lion's strides were very snakelike - but elegant. It must be Taka! giggled Rafiki. When the lion was in throwing distance, Rafiki tossed a gourd at him. It splattered his front paws and Taka jumped back, rudely awakened from his thoughts. Taka looked up, but saw no sign of movement - except for the leaves in the wind, of course. His eyes narrowed.

"Monkey! I know you're up there. Show yourself!" he shouted.

Another gourd came flying, which Taka dodged. It went Splat! on the ground next to him. "Aheheheh". He could hear from the treetop.

Taka rushed at the tree. He extended his claws to climb and clawed deeply at the trunk, but his own weight got the better of his strength and he rested back down on his back legs.

"Ohh I'll get you, you worthless monkey!" he growled and scratched at the tree.

One last gourd came falling from above his head and hit him square in the forehead. "Uuungh!" His face was covered in the goo. He shook his head with his eyes closed and spat the gourd chunks out of his mouth. "Bested by a damned worthless monkey." he laid on his side, continuing to clean the mess off his head and paws.

Rafiki showed his face for the first time, peering down at the young lion curiously.

"Useful in a tight spot, aren't they?" Rafiki said. "I've found another use for them! Keeping away pesky neighbors!"

Taka looked up at Rafiki and sighed. "Listen, I just want to talk about something that's been bothering me. I don't want to get anything hurled at me any more." Taka said.

"I swear my hurling days are over!" Rafiki said, laughing a bit.

Taka rolled his eyes. "Look, you've been with the family for as long as my father has." Taka said. "Can you tell me why Mufasa was chosen to become king instead of me?"

Rafiki responded, "My dear boy, Mufasa was chosen because he was the first born. He --"

"Yes yes but only by a mere moment!" Taka interrupted. "We were littermates, right? Born on the same day and given the same ceremony! We were equals all our lives but now I receive first word that he's to become king! A path which I can't follow!"

"Mufasa was always the heir to the throne, what made you think so differently?" Rafiki inquired.

"He lied to me. He told me he would make me king. That we would rule together as brothers is what he said." Taka responded.

"Even King Mufasa could not break the laws of the Great Kings."

"Could not? Or would not?"

"Could not." Rafiki reemphasized. "The Pride Lands have always been led by one king, and so far it has worked out heh heh... - Mufasa's path is sealed. You must go your own way and find your own place in the Circle of Life. It is expected of you to find your own pride now."

"I can't leave." Taka said.

"Go on! Get out of here! Hurry up!" Rafiki said crazily, waving his arms.

Taka looked beyond out into the endless savanna. It did have a certain appeal. To wander the lands as a free lion, looking for a place to call home, away from his past-

Taka looked back at Rafiki. "You want me to run from my past?"

"Noooo." Rafiki said in a low voice. "I want you to learn from it!" He grabbed another gourd and tossed it down, but Taka rolled away from it. "See? You're a quick learner! Now get out of here!"

"I can't leave." Taka said again.

"Pbbbff! What is so important that it is holding you back?" Rafiki asked.

"Love." Taka said. He got up and walked back to Pride Rock without another word.

Hmph. Maybe the boy will turn out all right, then. Rafiki thought to himself.

"Asante sana! squash banana! we we nuga! mi mi apana! Asante sana! squash banana! we we nuga! mi mi apana! Asante sana! squash banana..."

The baboon's chant faded as Taka walked out of earshot.

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: April 27th, 2010, 9:56 am
by KiarasMate
*helps to blow off the dust on the thread before applauding Moka on a job well done*

Even though it's been ages since you posted a new chapter Moka, you still haven't lost your touch. ^^ As expected, you captured the characters perfectly and stayed true to the formula of TLK while still adding your own unique twist to events not shown. :) While it is on the short side, it's completely understandable why and even for the small amount that this chapter provides, it still adds quite a bit to the growing storyline. I seriously have been spoiled after reading COTP but I still must say that your version of the events that pre-date the movie events are still well thought out and most enjoyable to read so I truly do look forward to your next chapter whenever you get around to writing and posting it buddy. So should we say, oh, in about another year or so? lol. j/k Moka. :) Keep up the amazing work my friend. ^^

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: April 29th, 2010, 1:26 am
Your updating this finally gave me the inspiration I needed to actually read the story, so awesome. Luckily it's on the short side (at least for an 18 chapter story, LOL), so it didn't take too long to get through. And let me say, it's a pretty fantastic read. Much of it is quite simplistic, and yet well thought-out, well-written, etc. Characterization and keeping with the canon has been done superbly as well. I'm hoping you'll take a little less time than usual to update again, though I'm certainly not one to talk there, haha. Keep up the good work, either way, when you can. C:

Re: A Mother's Love

PostPosted: March 1st, 2011, 4:10 pm
by ILoveKovu
Update please!