My Lion King Forum

Introduction

Ashur was very young and curious with two loving parents. He was raised by his mother Uhadi and his father Riku. They both were very proud of their little son. Ashur was perfect, well as he was told his whole life, before his parents were set under a terrible curse and left him. Here is the story of this brave little lion. From his point of view.

Chapter 1: Loss

It was a very hot day in the savannah before my parents left me. Here is how it goes.

"Dad! Pleasee, you said we can go somewhere today and explore the Pridelands!!! Please dad, wake up!"
"Ashur..I'm sleeping! Don't awake me please.....I'm tired."
"But.. you.. UGH Dad! All you do is sleep!"
"No, that is not all I do Ashur. I take care and look after you and your mother. Now leave me alone."
"Da-"
"LATER!" my dad roared at me. Sometimes he is just no fun to be around. he really promised me that we can explore the pridelands...what a lier. I prance into the pridelands by myself and run into my mother, visiting with her friend.
"Mom! Mom!" I try to innturrupt her blabber.
"Yes Ash?"
"Dad won't play with me, he says he's too tired!"
"Hun, let him sleep he got into a fight with the king yesterday and is exsausted."
I sigh.
"Where is Yukie?" I ask. Yukie is my best friend, but he is always getting me into trouble. He lost his parents because they got ran over by some bufflos. He has a purple mane, tan fur color with lime green eyes. He's like a brother to me! My dad and mom took him into our pride, but we don't see him much because he is out in the Pridelands either taking lazy naps by the watering hole, or just running around scaring dinner away from us.
"He is taking a nap." my mother replies.
"Sorry I asked... he is always doing that!" I thought to myself.
I go back to our home and try to wake dad up again. Thing is, we won't wake up.

Chapter 1: Loss Part 2

"Dad!" I ram into my dad like I never have and punch his nose and make him bleed after. I feel bad after.
"Dad.. why won't you wake up?" Then all of a sudden... POW! He whaps me upside the face with his big heavy paw. I feel my eyes tear up as he carries his big heavy body up and walks towards me again. I flinch.
"You filthy little lion, why did you wake me up?"
"Dad.. I...I'm..I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...I guess I.." Another swipe of his big paw across my face.
"Sure.... now you GO AWAY!" I run away to cry without him to see. Why did he do that to me? He never.. he has never hit me before.. that's the first time ever.. I thought he loved me.. I cry and sit down in the shade. Suddenly I see a big shadow over me. It's that creepy lion...Dark. Dark had a real name but nobody ever asks because he won't talk to anybody. His mom and dad gave him up when he was about three years old. He has a big Scar across his right eye and is missing a tooth and half of his left ear. He has golden fur color and a black scraggly dark matted mane. Some lions say he puts curses on other. He denys it. Dark suddenly bends down, but then sits next to me.
"Hello, Ashur." he says.

Awesome start to what I'm sure will be an awesome Fan Fic Crystal. ^^ So far, the storyline is intriguing and the characters sound like they have a lot of depth to them. I like how you're telling this from Ash's point of view. It's very unique and I enjoy your writing style. I hope you will continue this story and give more detail into each of the characters as you write more chapters. Keep up the amazing work my friend. ^^

(Thank you, KM! ^^)


Chapter 2: Dark..the lion

"Uh, hi Dark." I said nervously.
"Why.. a smart little cub like you get hit by your father? Huh? Did something happen..? Let me cuddle with you and you can tell me all about it."
I shift my body and lay next to Dark as he puts his paw over my back and holds me close, as what I think is comforting.
"Well.. I just wanted to explore the Pridelands with him.. and he just hit me.. and said that I was a filthy little cub.." my tears started to roll down my face, they sting as if some kind of poisonus plant was rubbing against my face.
"That's just too bad, Ashur.." Dark replied.
"I'm sure daddy never ment it, he was just trying to sleep and all.. what did mommy say about this? Did she hit you too? Or worse.. did they both leave you?"
I give Dark a confused look.
"What..? What do you mean have they left me?" Dark took his paw off of me and streched and stood up.
"Hmm, I think I've slipped my little secret, but I guess it's time for me to tell you, that this is my doing. I put a curse on your mommy and daddy! "
I flinch, then jump up at his words. Every nerve in my body was now shot and I couldn't feel anything. I collapse as I pass out and after I go into my sleep, I hear Dark cackling.

"Daddy, are you there?
"Yes Ash, I'm here to keep you safe, son."
"Dad...help.. you hit me!"
"Why would I do that son? I love you more than anything!"
"Daddy....."
"Hm?"
"We're pals right? And we'll always be together forever right..?"
"Ashur.. yes.. we are pals and will be together forever after the fire spreads."
"What? What fire?! DAD??"

I lurch up from my horrible dream and find myself in a weird cave. I look around. The cave was dark, and damp, only a few specks of light peek in from the tiny crack in the roof of the cave. A few bats squeal and fly deeper into the cave. I try to get up but my body wouldn't let me. I collapse again, on the hard stone purple rock ground. I shiver as a cold wave of wind blows silently from one of the cracks. "Where am I?" I wondered to myself. I lay my head back down, stomach growling, eyelids heavy one again and my whole body sick and weak. I tried to go back to sleep but my eyes wouldn't shut. Suddenly, I hear paws coming from one of the many entrences from the cave. Before my eyes ajust to the dark misty light, I then realize who the dark figure is. It's Dark. As he walks forward to me, I see something that he is dragging behind him. Either it was my eyes playing tricks on me, or it was real.. it looked like my dad's body. He smirks and runs towards me.

You're most welcome Crystal and Woah! Totally awesome new chapter.^^ Really dark and intense thus far but I'm seriously loving this story. Great use of descriptive narrative and I truly can't wait to read the next part when you post it. ^^ Simply amazing thus far Crystal. Keep it coming! ^^

(Hehe, Thanks so much KM! Here's Chapter 2, part two, just for you! Enjoy!)

Chapter 2: Dark..the lion Pt. 2

I looked quickly at what Dark was carrying. I then suddenly realized it was only dinner, not my father. I relaxed my tense body and sat up.
"Want some Zebra?" Dark asked me. Needless to say, I was starving.
"Sure! Thanks!" Dark threw the zerbra meat towards me, I dodged it as it slid across the ground toward my paws. The yummy aroma of zerba meat filled my whole nose, as I drooled and dug in. Dark chuckled as I wolfed down my whole meal.
"What a hungry little lion you are.. your parents must have never fed you." I looked up at Dark with bloodstains on my chops and sudden anger in my eyes. I almost lept at him, but controlled myself.
"My mom and dad loved me..more than anything!" I struggled to say as more stinging tears rolled down my face. Great.. I was crying again! Why did this happen to me? Dark shifted his body and lay down on the ground.
"Well I guess they won't.. because of that curse I put on them.." Dark said as he scrathced the ground with his sharp brown claw. I followed the movent of it with my eyes. I didn't know what to say. So I thought up something real quick.
"Uh, yeah.. I guess you're right. They hate me now." "THANKS TO YOU!" I yelled inside my mind. Dark shifted again and rolled over on his back.
"Ashur.. I know what you're thinking. You're wondering why I put the curse on your parents, huh?"
"Not that, but close enough, why did you do it anyways?" I didn't really want an answer but I figured he's tell me anyway, off guard.
" I wanted you to be my son, Ashur. So that's why I put that curse on them. You're such a carefree lion and all.. I wanted you to be my son. And alll mine so I can hog you all to myself and do anything to you" I look at him, puzzled. I suddenly feel my eyelids closing. Dark notices and says:
"Well Ashur.. five more days until the fire spreads.." I force my eyes open.
"What!!?" I say, but Dark as already slinked away.


Sorry it was so short.. I'm half asleep here.. XD lol

Even for being short, this was still an awesome part to your epic story Crystal. You had me fooled with the zebra. lol. I like how you're building up the suspense with Ashur's parents and what's going to happen next. ^^ Dark seems to be a conflicted character thus far too. I'm not sure whether to like or hate him yet. hehe. Amazing job as always my friend and I can't wait for the next part. Keep up the outstanding work Crystal. ^^

Really nice start of your story Crystal. ^^ I enjoy the characters and how you're portraying how this goes. Everything is going smooth so far and I'm looking forward of reading the rest of it.

Thanks a lot you guys! I always appricate your kind words as always! Ashh, laggy computer. lol I think KM, that in the next chapter, you'll figure out wheather to like him or hate him! I will post the next chaper soon, I'm just having writer's block at the moment. lol I gotta get some more ideas. I will have it up by later today! So you can check back in a little while.

Chapter 3: Fire

I jump up. "What fire?!" Dark smirks at me.
"Why you don't know about the fire, my dear friend?" He winked at me.
"Well..It's kind of hard to explain Ashur. The curse has broken on your parents, BUT as for the fire, it is going to spread out to where they're located and KILL them! Ha ha ha ha! I'm sorry little cub, but you're going to be on your own for the rest of your life. So you might as well die too and be with Mommy and Daddy because nobody is going to help you!" Dark lauged himself silly. I was sick of him! He was going to kill my mother and father. Suddenly, I recall my father's words he once said to me. "When one is in dangerous danger, one must fight!" All of a sudden, I get all my stregnth back! I jump onto Dark, and bite his ear so hard it starts to bleed. Then, I bat him hard enough to give him another scar! Then, every nerve in my body shuts down. He swipes a hig boulder at my head. I fall asleep once again. I have a weird dream as well. In my dream, I am in a dark and muggy foggy field, with my parents by my side. I'm happy and chasing a butterfly. Then, Dark comes cackling and throws my parents and I off a cliff, I fall down down down and down, into a fire.


Sorry for short chapters everyone! That was my idea I had in mind today, and It'll take me some time to get a new one! xD May I have any suggestions? PM or MSN me please for your ideas!!!