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castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 7:42 pm
by bouncey
today was a joyful day in africa. the great lion queen sarabi , had a baby cub ! all of the animals journed to pride rock. on top on pride rock , was the great lion king mufasa. zazu landed below the king's paws. rafiki , the wise baboon went to the top of pride rock. he hugged king mufasa , and they made they're way towards sarabi. rafiki shook his stick over beckett. she swated at it , and then he made a mark on her forhead , and then he sprinckled dust over her , witch made beckett sneeze . mufasa and sarabi smiled. then , rafiki lifted up the cub , and took her towards the edge of pride rock. he lifted her up for all to see.

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 9:37 pm
by SimbasMate
Who is beckett? It sounds like some sort of bagel.

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 9:39 pm
by bouncey
i got the name from a tv show called castle.

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 9:39 pm
by WildSimba
Image

Maybe she was reffering to Samual Beckett?

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 9:43 pm
by KopsTheTerminator
You mean Sarabi gave birth to a human? o.O

You should introduce us more to the story and the characters. We don't really know what's going on other than Sarabi and Mufasa presenting Peckett, which was exactly like Simba's presentation. Give us more details on the story and you're good to go. =P

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 9:55 pm
by bouncey
umm , i made up the name. beckett is a lioness.

Re: castle : meeting beckett

PostPosted: May 23rd, 2011, 10:03 pm
by FlipMode
Thread moved to The Fandom - Fan Fictions.
Remember that any fan fiction which uses The Lion King as a theme belongs here, off topic means exactly that, anything unrelated to the Lion King, thanks.

Might as well comment while I am here too, and honestly it was okay but I would say that it could do with a bit more description in terms of how the characters look. And give it a bit of an actual plot, I mean perhaps that will get better later in but the way it was written, it felt like the entire ceremony literally lasted about 10 seconds *hug, sneeze, lift, the end* I mean, no one spoke either. A little detail can go a long way, try some adjectives for example. Just give it a bit of depth, you will really be able to feel the difference when you read it back =)