------------- So a total of six months has made its way around. I met everyone... well most of those I know today during the six months. Up front, I'd like to say good things about it all. But hey, I'd be lying. If anything, it's quite the opposite. Spending day in and day out scraping ends meat to simply just get by. Sometimes there is help from the gang to get our ends meat. There are days everyone goes their own way. There are days half of us don't even make it back to Bohea's Shop or to that shack Saxon likes to hang out at... Each day sits with its own challenge. There are days we don't get enough to get by, so some go without food. This is just the second winter for me. This winter has been much more difficult than the first. Most tend to not remember their first few months of their life. Not me. That's probably one of the more vivid times of my life. I had an owner then. He was a kind man. He wasn't the richest guy around I know that. He is why I know how to steal things. It's why I am good at it today. But, over this last six months... I've been told it's wrong. It goes as far those the gang and I steal from are trying to take our heads for trophies. It's not a fun gamble I will say that much. But being told it was wrong got me thinking, no I always thought this. Hunters, Guards, those folks... they all say what the gang and I do to survive is wrong... but then time and time again, they are doing the exact same thing. I watch them do it a lot. I know Azita and Buff have come awfully close to getting taken away with getting food. That itself really ruffles my fur the wrong way. They call us the law-breakers, when the enforcers break it themselves, and then we are the ones to get into trouble? That's what happened to my owner. Hunters and people took him away, while I hid in the loft and watched it happened. The guy was unarmed. He was cooperative, and then they killed him in his own home... from that I've never held an ounce of trust toward hunters, or most people. It's made trusting others... difficult. I know I can put on the trusting act very well. But there times I've found myself questioning the gang themselves. Buff started out being around a lot. To being around less, and when he is around, he is far more hesitant to get what we need to get by. Azita I couldn't say I really trust. She's loud. She's aggressive. She half the time reminds me of a hunter. I just never say anything. I just curl up... cause I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what everyone else would say if I said that, or said I don't trust or like guards and hunters at all. And I more than don't like them. If we thieves deserve punishment for trying to get by, why should they who steal and get praised. If you ask me, they are ones who should be punished. But... not everything of the ride so far has been bad. Meeting the gang I've also enjoyed, even if I have my moments of doubt with them. I know Lia, Yoon, and Saxon. Those three I don't think I'd be me today. Hmm. If anything if any of them were not there today, I don't think I would be where I am now. I have a group I have some safety with. I know truly being safe is just a hoax and a lie. Anything could happen. So with what I do have, I want to say I am happy. But today... I am not so sure. It's the same grind to survive like before meeting them and after my owner was killed. It frankly sucks... I am not sure anyone is happy. ... I don't know what to do? Other than continuing playing the grind, and pray I never get the short straw. ... ... ... I almost... just want to leave everything... and just live my days alone, outside the walls. I know that would make me a target for bigger things out there, but how different is that to in the walls really? At least out there hunting for food and getting what I need, it won't be wrong... ... it hurts so much to be told everything you do is wrong... especially when it's really the only thing you know how to do. I don't know anything else. Guess the only thing I can do now... is wear that mask.
I sighed, and looked over the gait of the city. It looked pretty from here, which was nice. So I decided to take it as a place to stop and wait for the sun to drop from the sky... I glanced back, and Cici poked her head up from the gap used to get up to where I was. "Kid you're fast for your size." she replied calmly, "so what did ya wanna show me?" the serval snowie paused, and looked out at the city... "wow..." she stood still and studied the sky and sea. I just remained silent and looked at her. She was calming... I don't know why... she just was. I guess this was a good thing to have happen in the last six months. Meeting Cici... "... up here was about it..." I replied, kind of embarrassed with it, "I hope this works, instead of giving ya some fancy item..." I shrugged slightly. Cici looked back and smiled, "I would take this over any item, Serval." she sat down herself, "thank you." I looked away when she said thank you, I wasn't sure why I did either, but I did. I really wasn't expecting that reaction from her. But before I could say anything else or even think-- "... How ever did you find this place?" she asked with a nice smile, the ask was enough to make me look back to her. "Uhh..." I stammered some, the truth being I was running from the law, "--I went looking around and came across it a week ago." I claimed, it wasn't completely false. "Well it was worth the find." she paused for a second, "I may begin returning here more casually to watch the city from here." "... cool." I replied... not having else to say, well I didn't how to say what I wanted to say... So I guess I am partly taking back the calming from her... but maybe not? I was glad she liked it. But I still needed to get what was prying at me off my chest. So I did something that prolly dumb. "I was trying to steal that fancy bowl when we met." I blurted out, seeing Cici just give a face, but hey I wasn't even done, "but then you just didn't seem to care and instead gave me this thing." I pointed to the fabric I had. "I-- I didn't know how apologizing for trying to steal from ya or to thank ya... no one's ever done that before." I found myself admitting. "And I couldn't find anything that was good enough to give ya back." Cici laughed at my sudden blurt, which didn't help me any, "Oh honey, I never even realized-- but that doesn't make this any less meaningful. You are my friend, Serval, your actions in the past... won't alter that," she held an assuring smile, which did help me... "I care about what you do now, and you going through all this trouble to say sorry and thank you for the gift is a gift all its own." This I really did not expect, and then another thing I wasn't expecting. Cici reached her tail out and placed her tail on my shoulder. I wasn't sure how to react to that. "Thank you for caring so much honey," she said, "I'm happy you attempted to steal my bowl too. I wouldn't know a caring feline named Serval." I smiled.
That is a very awesome pic. I like The dark colors alot. Nice story too. That's sad how his owner died. Why did the hunters come to the owner's house? what did he do?
