Write a TL;DR summary of the movies

[TheLionPrince]

TL;DR means "too long, didn't read".

Suppose someone doesn't have the time to watch all the films (including the recent Return of the Roar television movie) or can't understand the synopses everywhere online. So, write a simple, short (and yes hilarious) summary of the films (include Return of the Roar if you want to do.) Here's an example of one I came up for the first film:

"A lion father and king gets whacked by his brother; his son becomes a grub-eating hippie."

[DGFone]

The Lion King: Just like Max Payne, but with lions. Somewhat less violence.

Simba's Pride: The first movie... just the first movie.

1 1/2: The Lion King: Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Elton John]

The Lion King the movie that taught children 'not even blood can be trusted'

The Lion King 2 it's romeo and juliet without the leads killing themselves.

The Lion King 1.5 we wanted more money

The Lion King: Six New Adventures will never be referenced by disney in any official media ever again

Kimba the white lion some sort of bambi knockoff

The Lion King on broadway you loved the movie, we love your money, but you already have the vhs so here's a new way for you to give us that money!

the timon and pumbaa show where are the lion characters

The Lion Guard now with only one lion!

The Lion King 4 I never knew lions could survive in space!

[Troll Berserker]

TLK: Hamlet for kids. With lions.
SP: Romeo&Juliet for kids. With lions.
TLG: Avengers for kids. With lions.

TLK: Hyenas are bad
SP: Skinny lions are bad
TLG: Hyenas are bad again

[SimbaPrescott]

The Lion King: Evil lion kills king, king's son runs away, eats bugs, returns and overthrows evil lion. Has a cub, Fluffy Kopa Kiara whose name changes depending on what you read/watch next.

The Lion King 2: Princess falls in love with hunky lion from rival pride. Bring prides back together. The end.

The Lion King 3: The first movie remade for $$$$$ really little kids. Warning: Not focused on actual lion characters.

The Lion Guard: Superhero animals with magically appearing marks saving the Pride Lands.

[MiKuna Matata]

The Lion King: Hamlet. Animals with good voice to sing. Tears and happiness. Carefree and responsibility.

Simba's Pride: Romeo and Juliet. Again, animals with extraordinary singing abilities. Love and hate. Doubt and trust.

The Lion King 1½: Two animals behind the scenes. Bugs. Found another animal and fed it bugs. A wonderful motto. Changed meerkats' habitat.

The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar: More Swahili. More other animals. Baobab ball. Clouds could roar. And, same wonderful singing voice.

[InsaneSeagull]

The Lion King: There's a king. His brother kills him. King's son survives. Returns to his kingdom and takes the throne. He ate bugs in the meantime.

Simba's Pride: Lion has a daughter. That daughter meets a cub from another pride. Romeo and Juliet. Daughter and another cub fall in love. We are one. Everyone's happy in the end.

The Lion King 1½: Meerkats. Lots of them. Look beyond what you see. Hakuna matata.

The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar: Clouds roar. A cub assembles the Lion Guard. Kiara's a jerk. Simba's a jerk. Mufasa's awesome.

[HereWeStand]

The Lion King: Crusader Kings 2 Animal Kingdom $70 DLC
Simba's Pride: Somehow the short romance between two lions from opposing sides is enough to magically overcome years of hatred.
The Lion King 3: Filler
The Lion Guard: Return of The Roar: This kills the lore We jumped the shark so bad, quality? What quality?

[Squeely]

The Lion King: Lions fight over giant rock.

The Lion King 2: More lions fight over giant rock.

The Lion King 1 1/2: Meerkats move to the jungle.

Return of the Roar: Animals get some sweet matching tattoos.

[Amadi_the_Guard]

TLK1: Mean scarred lion exiles a little cub from his rock, the cub grows up, returns and kicks his behind, then climbs the rock.

TLK2: Good lion's daughter wants to fork with the mean scarred lion's angsty scarred (adoptive) son, to her dad's disliking, but later gets her way.

TLK3: You probably wanted to see more lions... Screw you, have a meerkat and a pig.

TLG: Good animals vs bad animals.