Spoiler: show
Allow me to preface this review by saying that I'm a huge fan of Lion King. It's the first film I ever saw, and I've clung to it fervently ever since. That said, I hate to write this review, but it must be done.
So we start the film with Kion, a shoddily-written O.C. that seems like he could be straight out of a low-quality fanfic. Then we're introduced to his friend Bunga, who teaches kids (multiple times) that you can leap off of cliffs and suffer no repercussions. I'll touch on him later.
Soon enough, they stumble into the Outlands and we're shown that the hyenas are the "irredeemable bad guys" and then Kion does a "fus ro dah" and scares the heck out of them, because Skyrim ftw? He then learns that he's the new leader of the Lion Guard, an old group of lions that was designated to protect the Pride Lands, but disappeared. The idea is that Scar was their leader, but his power went to his head and that's the whole reason he wanted to be king. Um, no? There's bread-crumbs left throughout the first film that hint towards the actual reason (sibling rivalry), which is further bolstered by the various books. Lion Guard unfortunately takes all that canon and furiously smears it with feces and flushes it right down the toilet.
Later we're treated to "Zuka Zama", a song that's pretty decent and catchy, but only because I feel like it's been ripped from some better song which I can't recall the name of right now. In fact, "Tonight We Strike" is actually pretty good, especially the part with the laugh-singing. It's catchy, and it doesn't feel like it's a rip-off of another song, so props to whoever wrote this. This will probably be a good time to discuss the good things about this film, because there's not many of them. Firstly, the music is pretty good as aforementioned (aside from Kion's singing towards the end, which is just about as bland and generic as it gets). Secondly, the original voice actors for Timon, Pumbaa, and Mufasa make a return here...but they sound bored in their roles, so this might be a con more than anything. Thirdly, the background art is great as always, and the character art is pretty good as well; it only stands out because the animation is often extremely stiff and rigid. Fourthly and lastly, the "can you feel the love tonight" joke was pretty funny, but it only lasts for about five seconds in a film that's 44 minutes or so, so that's not enough to make up for anything.
Now, let me talk about the rest of the cons! So as I've already said we've got Bunga, a honey badger who's supposed to be "brave" but comes across as more of a reckless, suicidal maniac that's taking the whole "hakuna matata" thing a little too far. He is probably the single most annoying character I've ever had the misfortune to both see and hear, but here's a conspectus: A character that's energetic, does pretty much whatever he wants even if it's potentially fatal to him (I don't care if that tree was there, there's no realistic way he'd survive that fall), is constantly saying his catchphrase "Zuka zamaaaa!" (might as well replace it with "Cowabunga!" and throw in a "Dude!" for good measure), and is so gratingly annoying that he even inserts his own name into words. Yes, he downright says "UnBungalievable" a few times throughout the film. That's okay if you're being entirely facetious and joking, but he uses his own name like it's an average word that's a part of everyday lingo.
Another huge flaw is that there's absolutely no emotional connection to the characters or anything that's happening to them. It's basically a dumb cartoon in the style of Lion King without any of the depth or character of Lion King.
So Kion goes around pulling characters out of thin air to join the Lion Guard, and I guess they're important? They don't really do much except act as sort of a resolution to the story, like "Yeah, we're the Lion Guard and we...uh....do stuff." and they all get their cutie marks. The Cutie Mark Crusaders struggled for five whole seasons to get theirs, and Kion and his friends get theirs just because Kion does a dragon shout and Rafiki decides Simba's son is totally OP and says "lol, it is time" (because God forbid we don't try to make as many tie-ins to the movie as possible!). And when I say "cutie marks", I mean it like it is: They all get a unique marking that's supposed to represent their special talent. That works perfectly fine in MLP, but it has no place in the TLK universe. After they assemble their Goof Squad, they discover hyenas have come to wreck things and go to stop them. This is a huge gripe with the film for me, and I'm about to go off on a tangent. HERE IT GOES.
Okay, so in the first film the hyenas are treated as mischevious but goofy and lovable antagonists that are doing what they're doing simply because they live in squalid conditions and they starve on a daily basis, often not getting much of food except for a few scraps of bone here and there. Scar comes along and he offers them a place in the Pridelands and food forever if they help him kill his brother so he can take his place as king. It's a nefarious scheme, but it has a generous offer behind it and subsequently the hyenas accept.
I have always assumed that the reason the hyenas have behaved the way they do is because of the conditions they're constantly subjected to, and while they are a danger to the Pride Lands in large numbers (any predator would be), they don't seem to be allowed there under any circumstances even though every other predator clearly is, showing that hyenas are more or less universally shunned. This is because the film depicts them as incapable of moderation, but considering the indigent circumstances they have to deal with, it isn't really a surprise they would go overboard when presented with an all-you-can-eat buffet. However, despite all this the hyenas of TLK still manage to be lovable in their own way, and they even somewhat redeem themselves at the end by seeing Scar for exactly what he is and killing him. Lion Guard backhand pimp slaps the whole complexity of the hyenas and basically makes it "Lions are good, hyenas are irredeemably evil, end of story". This brings me to the last few minutes of the film, which brought my blood to such a boil that I didn't even bother watching the end of the film, because IDC.
So the hyenas are in the Pridelands to kill prey en masse, because according to TLG "THEY'RE EVIL, LOL!" But if you want to think about this realistically, the only reason they're doing this is because the Lion Guard is about to be up in business again. While they had a difficult time getting food before, they know they're going to have a terrible time of it after the Guard is in place. A character even states, quite shockingly, that they could resort to "eating each-other" if it comes down to it; that's how bad it's gotten for the hyenas (not that the lions really care). Kion (I think) makes some statement about "They have more than enough to feed themselves, but they're still killing.", and it's insinuated multiple times through the film that the hyenas are filthy, psychopathic killing machines that live simply to murder everything in sight. TLK perpetuated the myth that spotted hyenas are scavengers, and TLG is perpetuating the myth that hyenas are dumb, ruthless creatures. Great. Okay, Kion; why do you think they're still killing despite taking enough? Because even if they took just enough, you'd still march down there and kick their asses. Hyenas in this universe are treated worse than spiders unfortunate enough to be caught crawling across the bathroom floor. Any time one rears its head in their beloved Pridelands, some lion has to come along and smash their skull in with a sledgehammer. While the ones we've seen so far have proven to be threatening in large numbers, we can't assume every single hyena is like this--but you'd better believe the film does. It all culminates in Kion prancing up and doing his "fus ro dah!", and then he says, I kid you not, "You and your kind are not welcome here, EVER.".
I've always thought TLK's treatment of hyenas was unfair for the aforementioned reasons, but TLG takes it to a whole new level. You've got a group of bad guys, and they're the bad guys no matter what. There's what, four or five of these hyenas? A very small group. Yet despite this very small group, Kion states that no hyenas whatsoever, doesn't matter who or how nice they are or if they respect the circle of life, are /ever/ welcome in the Pridelands. Ever. So not only does this show that lions are choosing to suppress and ignore the problem and not willing to work it out with the hyenas intelligently, but also that they're so intolerant towards hyenas that it practically borders on racism--it also shows us that lions are elitist. This even manifests itself in the way that Simba gives his son crap about not picking lions for the Lion Guard. Just shut up, Simba.
There's a part in the film where Kiara is learning to hunt with her friend, and her friend asks if they're going to kill anything, to which Kiara replies "If we took down gazelles just to learn how to do it, then we'd be no better than the hyenas." I'm sorry, what? So if you can't take down gazelles to learn how to do it, exactly how do you learn how to do it, Kiara? And it's not like it would be a waste if you took down ONE gazelle; you could eat it, or bring it back to the pride so they could eat it. The only reason they did this scene was that they could further reinforce the already-existing stigma against the hyenas, and preach some sort of extremely forced "circle of life" message that frankly no one gives a crap about. Speaking of the circle of life, isn't the circle of life supposed to be all-inclusive? You know, "moves us all" and all that? Hyenas are part of the natural chain of things and are just as important to the ecosystem as any other creature; so to totally treat them like garbage while every other species gets a free pass is pretty crap, in my opinion.
So they scare off the hyenas, and then they find Kiara is trapped behind a rock while the herd of gazelle is stampeding because "We gotta make as many tie ins to the movie as possible!", so the Lion Guard go to save her. Bunga lands on the rock where she's trapped, and you know what he does? He aims his arse at the oncoming stampede and lets off a fart so loud and humungous that it creates a noxious gas cloud that parts the herd like Moses parting the Red Sea. Really, Disney? Is this what it's come to? I know there was fart humor in the original film, but at least it was clever with its "How I felt down-hearted every time that I _______". There's no cleverness here at all; it's a fart for the sake of being a fart, because farts are funny and kids love that stuff, right? Lol whatever, Disney. In fact, in the way that the fart instantly resolves the problem of the stampede, you could say that it's not a deus ex machina, but a Deus Ex Fart. Let that sink in for a while.
There you go! that's my review of the Lion Guard. Overall I give this film absolutely nothing out of ten (in fact, let's say it's negative infinity). While I was watching this, I didn't get the impression that Disney wanted to do this because they cared about the film or its fans, but simply because they wanted to make more money. If you've read this and you're an avid fan of the original film like I am, consider yourself sufficiently warned. Disney is dead to me, and the only way I'd ever rewatch this is if someone strapped me to a chair and kept my eyes pried open.
TL;DR
It's horrible.
So we start the film with Kion, a shoddily-written O.C. that seems like he could be straight out of a low-quality fanfic. Then we're introduced to his friend Bunga, who teaches kids (multiple times) that you can leap off of cliffs and suffer no repercussions. I'll touch on him later.
Soon enough, they stumble into the Outlands and we're shown that the hyenas are the "irredeemable bad guys" and then Kion does a "fus ro dah" and scares the heck out of them, because Skyrim ftw? He then learns that he's the new leader of the Lion Guard, an old group of lions that was designated to protect the Pride Lands, but disappeared. The idea is that Scar was their leader, but his power went to his head and that's the whole reason he wanted to be king. Um, no? There's bread-crumbs left throughout the first film that hint towards the actual reason (sibling rivalry), which is further bolstered by the various books. Lion Guard unfortunately takes all that canon and furiously smears it with feces and flushes it right down the toilet.
Later we're treated to "Zuka Zama", a song that's pretty decent and catchy, but only because I feel like it's been ripped from some better song which I can't recall the name of right now. In fact, "Tonight We Strike" is actually pretty good, especially the part with the laugh-singing. It's catchy, and it doesn't feel like it's a rip-off of another song, so props to whoever wrote this. This will probably be a good time to discuss the good things about this film, because there's not many of them. Firstly, the music is pretty good as aforementioned (aside from Kion's singing towards the end, which is just about as bland and generic as it gets). Secondly, the original voice actors for Timon, Pumbaa, and Mufasa make a return here...but they sound bored in their roles, so this might be a con more than anything. Thirdly, the background art is great as always, and the character art is pretty good as well; it only stands out because the animation is often extremely stiff and rigid. Fourthly and lastly, the "can you feel the love tonight" joke was pretty funny, but it only lasts for about five seconds in a film that's 44 minutes or so, so that's not enough to make up for anything.
Now, let me talk about the rest of the cons! So as I've already said we've got Bunga, a honey badger who's supposed to be "brave" but comes across as more of a reckless, suicidal maniac that's taking the whole "hakuna matata" thing a little too far. He is probably the single most annoying character I've ever had the misfortune to both see and hear, but here's a conspectus: A character that's energetic, does pretty much whatever he wants even if it's potentially fatal to him (I don't care if that tree was there, there's no realistic way he'd survive that fall), is constantly saying his catchphrase "Zuka zamaaaa!" (might as well replace it with "Cowabunga!" and throw in a "Dude!" for good measure), and is so gratingly annoying that he even inserts his own name into words. Yes, he downright says "UnBungalievable" a few times throughout the film. That's okay if you're being entirely facetious and joking, but he uses his own name like it's an average word that's a part of everyday lingo.
Another huge flaw is that there's absolutely no emotional connection to the characters or anything that's happening to them. It's basically a dumb cartoon in the style of Lion King without any of the depth or character of Lion King.
So Kion goes around pulling characters out of thin air to join the Lion Guard, and I guess they're important? They don't really do much except act as sort of a resolution to the story, like "Yeah, we're the Lion Guard and we...uh....do stuff." and they all get their cutie marks. The Cutie Mark Crusaders struggled for five whole seasons to get theirs, and Kion and his friends get theirs just because Kion does a dragon shout and Rafiki decides Simba's son is totally OP and says "lol, it is time" (because God forbid we don't try to make as many tie-ins to the movie as possible!). And when I say "cutie marks", I mean it like it is: They all get a unique marking that's supposed to represent their special talent. That works perfectly fine in MLP, but it has no place in the TLK universe. After they assemble their Goof Squad, they discover hyenas have come to wreck things and go to stop them. This is a huge gripe with the film for me, and I'm about to go off on a tangent. HERE IT GOES.
Okay, so in the first film the hyenas are treated as mischevious but goofy and lovable antagonists that are doing what they're doing simply because they live in squalid conditions and they starve on a daily basis, often not getting much of food except for a few scraps of bone here and there. Scar comes along and he offers them a place in the Pridelands and food forever if they help him kill his brother so he can take his place as king. It's a nefarious scheme, but it has a generous offer behind it and subsequently the hyenas accept.
I have always assumed that the reason the hyenas have behaved the way they do is because of the conditions they're constantly subjected to, and while they are a danger to the Pride Lands in large numbers (any predator would be), they don't seem to be allowed there under any circumstances even though every other predator clearly is, showing that hyenas are more or less universally shunned. This is because the film depicts them as incapable of moderation, but considering the indigent circumstances they have to deal with, it isn't really a surprise they would go overboard when presented with an all-you-can-eat buffet. However, despite all this the hyenas of TLK still manage to be lovable in their own way, and they even somewhat redeem themselves at the end by seeing Scar for exactly what he is and killing him. Lion Guard backhand pimp slaps the whole complexity of the hyenas and basically makes it "Lions are good, hyenas are irredeemably evil, end of story". This brings me to the last few minutes of the film, which brought my blood to such a boil that I didn't even bother watching the end of the film, because IDC.
So the hyenas are in the Pridelands to kill prey en masse, because according to TLG "THEY'RE EVIL, LOL!" But if you want to think about this realistically, the only reason they're doing this is because the Lion Guard is about to be up in business again. While they had a difficult time getting food before, they know they're going to have a terrible time of it after the Guard is in place. A character even states, quite shockingly, that they could resort to "eating each-other" if it comes down to it; that's how bad it's gotten for the hyenas (not that the lions really care). Kion (I think) makes some statement about "They have more than enough to feed themselves, but they're still killing.", and it's insinuated multiple times through the film that the hyenas are filthy, psychopathic killing machines that live simply to murder everything in sight. TLK perpetuated the myth that spotted hyenas are scavengers, and TLG is perpetuating the myth that hyenas are dumb, ruthless creatures. Great. Okay, Kion; why do you think they're still killing despite taking enough? Because even if they took just enough, you'd still march down there and kick their asses. Hyenas in this universe are treated worse than spiders unfortunate enough to be caught crawling across the bathroom floor. Any time one rears its head in their beloved Pridelands, some lion has to come along and smash their skull in with a sledgehammer. While the ones we've seen so far have proven to be threatening in large numbers, we can't assume every single hyena is like this--but you'd better believe the film does. It all culminates in Kion prancing up and doing his "fus ro dah!", and then he says, I kid you not, "You and your kind are not welcome here, EVER.".
I've always thought TLK's treatment of hyenas was unfair for the aforementioned reasons, but TLG takes it to a whole new level. You've got a group of bad guys, and they're the bad guys no matter what. There's what, four or five of these hyenas? A very small group. Yet despite this very small group, Kion states that no hyenas whatsoever, doesn't matter who or how nice they are or if they respect the circle of life, are /ever/ welcome in the Pridelands. Ever. So not only does this show that lions are choosing to suppress and ignore the problem and not willing to work it out with the hyenas intelligently, but also that they're so intolerant towards hyenas that it practically borders on racism--it also shows us that lions are elitist. This even manifests itself in the way that Simba gives his son crap about not picking lions for the Lion Guard. Just shut up, Simba.
There's a part in the film where Kiara is learning to hunt with her friend, and her friend asks if they're going to kill anything, to which Kiara replies "If we took down gazelles just to learn how to do it, then we'd be no better than the hyenas." I'm sorry, what? So if you can't take down gazelles to learn how to do it, exactly how do you learn how to do it, Kiara? And it's not like it would be a waste if you took down ONE gazelle; you could eat it, or bring it back to the pride so they could eat it. The only reason they did this scene was that they could further reinforce the already-existing stigma against the hyenas, and preach some sort of extremely forced "circle of life" message that frankly no one gives a crap about. Speaking of the circle of life, isn't the circle of life supposed to be all-inclusive? You know, "moves us all" and all that? Hyenas are part of the natural chain of things and are just as important to the ecosystem as any other creature; so to totally treat them like garbage while every other species gets a free pass is pretty crap, in my opinion.
So they scare off the hyenas, and then they find Kiara is trapped behind a rock while the herd of gazelle is stampeding because "We gotta make as many tie ins to the movie as possible!", so the Lion Guard go to save her. Bunga lands on the rock where she's trapped, and you know what he does? He aims his arse at the oncoming stampede and lets off a fart so loud and humungous that it creates a noxious gas cloud that parts the herd like Moses parting the Red Sea. Really, Disney? Is this what it's come to? I know there was fart humor in the original film, but at least it was clever with its "How I felt down-hearted every time that I _______". There's no cleverness here at all; it's a fart for the sake of being a fart, because farts are funny and kids love that stuff, right? Lol whatever, Disney. In fact, in the way that the fart instantly resolves the problem of the stampede, you could say that it's not a deus ex machina, but a Deus Ex Fart. Let that sink in for a while.
There you go! that's my review of the Lion Guard. Overall I give this film absolutely nothing out of ten (in fact, let's say it's negative infinity). While I was watching this, I didn't get the impression that Disney wanted to do this because they cared about the film or its fans, but simply because they wanted to make more money. If you've read this and you're an avid fan of the original film like I am, consider yourself sufficiently warned. Disney is dead to me, and the only way I'd ever rewatch this is if someone strapped me to a chair and kept my eyes pried open.
TL;DR
It's horrible.
