Revamping the revamp of a decent fan fic

[Ushujaa]

So, I feel like writing but there's only one good story i'm good at writing, just in different ways SOOOOO I plan on revamping my original revamp of my original character's story

who knows, maybe if people like it enough it would make a good RP

well anyhoo here is my preview of chapter one

NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE FULL CHAPTER, just a small taste... i'd like to see some comments from people who haveread my stories in the past and those who haven't. Just to see where I stand with improvement of my writing skills.

Chapter one

A lone cub lay in the back of a dreary cave, in which he had spent most of his life. His name was Ushujaa. He wished everyday that he would be able to see unfiltered light from the great circle of life. He had very little experience outside of this solid imprisonment; he hated it.

It was the darkness that always got to him. Every so often a ray of light would shine through the slight cracks above, and each time Ushujaa would plead with his mother for the privilege of being allowed to see the outside world, to no avail, for it was far too dangerous for him to be exploring the lands at his age.

They live in the Pride Lands. Though once filled with life, the pure green leaves have fallen off the trees as the water has dried up. The land is filled with death and decay, a blanket of clouds covers the once shining lands with darkness. Still, the darkness of the outside world is brighter than he had ever experienced or could ever remember experiencing.

Occasionally Ushujaa’s mother would tell him stories of the great king Mufasa and the heroic deeds he would preform as both a king and a loving father. Ushujaa never met his father. He had always wondered what his father would have been like, or what it would’ve been like to have a father growing up. Though he knew those questions would never get an answer he couldn’t help but dream.