A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

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Total votes : 8

A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby SimbaKovu » September 7th, 2010, 4:54 am

This story chronicles my vision of the story of Kovu and Kiara beginning with their wedding day two months after Zira's attack on Simba fails. I'd be happy to take suggestions from readers on what they believe Kiara and Kovu should be doing as a new couple. Also, along the way, there may some more "explicit" scenes I'd be prohibited from posting, which most likely will be non-germane to the main storyline, but which I'd be happy to provide to any members who request them, considering that member is above the age of 18, of course! :D Anyway, here is the first part of my story. I hope you all enjoy and please vote in the enclosed poll and post along with your vote to tell me what you think! Thanks, guys!


Chapter One: Longing

As the morning sun rose to illuminate the full range and breadth of the Pride Lands, the members of the pride that had been peacefully slumbering inside the den of Pride Rock began to stir. Among them were Simba Amini and his wedded mate Nala Helani, the King and Queen of the pride and the main authority figures of all animal species within the Pride Lands’ territory. Also among the group was their daughter, Princess Kiara Amini, the main beneficiary of this particular day’s festivities.

This particular day happened to be the wedding ceremony between the Princess and her sworn mate Kovu Kita, a former member of the Outlands pride and former illegitimate heir to the Pride Lands throne under his stepfather Taka Amini, the uncle of King Simba. As per the customary royal tradition, the bride and groom had been separated a week prior so as to ensure that no pre-ceremony “debauchery” occurred, and in order to guarantee a “productive” wedding night. This separation had taken an exacting emotional toll on the Princess, due to the fact that ever since she had begun her courtship with Kovu during what had come to be known by some members of the pride as “The Three-Day Breach,” she had developed a nearly unbreakable bond with him; ever since the first night after the coup attempt ended nearly two months ago, Kiara and Kovu had spent every single night together in a secluded corner of the Pride Rock den, where they could express their love to each other in romantic, glorious privacy. The King and Queen, despite their misgivings about such activities occurring in the presence of the rest of the pride, had requested of the other members that they not disturb the young couple during the nights. Nonetheless, Simba and Nala had frequently expressed their disapproval of Kiara and Kovu’s nighttime “events” in private discussions with the two, especially in the first few days of Kovu’s residence in the den and in the days preceding the couple’s mandated separation. Simba was much more vocal about his disapproval than Nala.

“I will not have this kind of behavior here!” he once scolded at Kiara about a month earlier, after a night in which her and Kovu’s activities caused the entire pride to awaken from their slumber.

“Father, we’re in love! We can’t stop it!” Kiara had replied, half-angry, half-amused.

“Then…take it somewhere else! We have special dens set up in the plains for this kind of thing!” Simba responded, completely exasperated and embarrassed that he was having this conversation with his daughter.

Kiara snickered. “But, father, those dens are freezing cold during the night,” she retorted cleverly.

Simba sighed. “Well…then does it have to be every night?” he spat.

Kiara simply nodded and smirked.

Simba furrowed his eyebrows and realized he’d been out-maneuvered by Kiara in the conversation. “Well, then…just keep it down, for goodness sake!”

By this time, Kiara had already turned her back on her father and had begun walking back toward where she had originally been. She stopped, turned her head, emitted a sly chuckle, and replied, “Okay, Daddy!” and galloped off, leaving Simba feeling powerless to control her and her future husband.

However, over the past week of separation from Kovu, the normally perky nature of Kiara’s character had devolved into a demeanor of, not depression, but of intense wistfulness, of a deep longing for her absent prince, a longing to be in his arms once again, to feel his body against hers, to experience that passion again that they had shared before the separation, to share in his dreams again, to just have him by her side once more. And as Kiara took part in her early morning stretch routine, she was reminded that the following night would be the end of her longing.
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby Azdgari » September 7th, 2010, 3:56 pm

Hehehehe. xD

I like it, SK. It's pretty darn goofy and most certainly PG-13, but I'm very interested in how it develops. I'm not sure if you're planning to make it more serious or keep the air of lightness you wrote into this chapter (I'd prefer you kept it fluffy--there aren't enough funny TLK stories around) but either way you take it, I'm sure you'll do wonderfully. I enjoyed your writing of Kiara, and I'm interested in seeing how you do Kovu. :3

Critique wise, the only things I'd throw out there is you have a couple run on sentences milling about in there that could be broken up to work a little better. Your last paragraph is almost entirely one sentence! And aesthetically, if a paragraph comes out as big as that one in the middle, it might be easier on the reader to break it up, although I suppose that's your call. ^^
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby TheRoguePrince » September 7th, 2010, 4:12 pm

Pretty good story, definately not child friendly, but it is worth a second volume. I'm still not quite sure about it, but I would like to see a second chapter. ;)
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby QueenRalexia » September 8th, 2010, 7:21 pm

Its different but I like it, I hope you continue it ;)
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby Hydro » September 13th, 2010, 7:10 pm

It looks awesome yo, very descriptive and clear writing, and fun to read IMO. If you don't continue I'm gonna die a little inside. XDD
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby jelle » September 13th, 2010, 7:35 pm

Whoah did not expected that haha.
Well it's a great story but kinda SEXUAL lol.
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Re: A Royal Beginning (Part 1)

Postby Kina » January 8th, 2012, 4:17 pm

Not sure if this counts as grave digging since this was a requested review, but I do like the start. It is definitely more than a little different from what you read in this fandom, but sometimes change is good. You went about it in a tasteful manner nonetheless, so that's extra points to you. I would like to see more of this, sooner or later. ;)
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